Average Man Takes 7 Months To Say ‘I Love You’


Men Take Longer to Say I Love You

Mr. Darcy’s proclamation of love to Elizabeth Bennet in the 2005 version of the classic “Pride and Prejudice” is the climax of the film:

“You must know, surely you must know, it was all for you…My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I would have to tell you: You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love… I love… I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

pride and prejudice

Mr. Darcy’s vulnerability and openness contradicts the closed up, unemotional male stereotype that Hollywood continues to portray in films, even when one study in the U.K. found that men are more likely to confess their love first.

The study found that it takes men an average of seven months to say “I love you,” while it takes women an average of eight months.




A study shows that it actually takes women longer to say 'I love you.'Click To Tweet

“Although women do tend to wear their heart on their sleeves more than men do, men are just as emotional and sensitive – sometimes even more so,” said Jenni Trent Hughes, a relationship counselor quoted in the article.

The study shows only a marginal difference in each gender’s willingness to utter those three life-changing words, but it’s an important reminder that women are not always the emotional drivers of a relationship. A traditional mindset assumes that women are the ones asking for relationship clarity through the infamous “So, what is this?” conversation or pressuring men to make commitments to marriage and children before they’re ready to do so, but that’s not always the case. On the other side, men are not always the physical drivers of relationships or afraid of monogamy.

Relationship stereotypes only hold us back from happiness. Click To Tweet

Relationship stereotypes hold us all back in so many ways, and it’s up to us to embrace our feelings and our intuition, whether you are male or female or whether our society says it’s ok to express your emotions.

So, CatholicMatchers, were the results of this study surprising? In your dating experiences, who was the first to say “I love you?” In your future relationship, will you be waiting for your significant other to say “I love you” first?



  1. David-1054431 January 14, 2015 Reply

    The notion that woman are more romantic and more emotional (about relationships anyway) is one of the biggest prevailing myths in our culture. In fact just the opposite is true. Speaking as a man, I can tell you that when a man falls for a woman, he can develop very strong feelings in a short period of time. Much of the time in the early stage of a relationship, the man is falling hard while the woman is much calmer taking her time deciding if she feels anything for this guy or not. It’s been my own experience and also that of most of my guy friends.

    But, some would argue, what about romance novels? What about romantic movies? Aren’t women the primary consumers of those? Absolutely. That’s because women like to be romantic in theory and in fantasy, where all the elements can be perfect. Look at male movie stars who are heartthrobs, the Brad Pitt’s, the Matthew McConaughey’s. They’re perfect specimens. No actual guy looks like that. That’s who women get excited about.

    Meanwhile, notice how any reasonably attractive woman complains about unwanted advances and flirtations from men. I don’t defend such boorish male behavior, but that happens because we like real women, the ones we see every day.

    So why is it men are generally less interested in romantic movies and novels than women are? It’s not because we’re less romantic. It’s because those are feelings we’d prefer to experience in reality. Fiction just doesn’t cut it; it’s such a pale shadow of the real experience.

  2. Emilie-1019256 June 4, 2014 Reply

    It was the man, and it took a lot less than 7 months! And finally when I probably responded from my heart ( I may have said it to not feel or make anyone else awkward), it probably took a lot longer than 8 months. Go figure!

  3. Donna-83441 April 7, 2012 Reply

    I can see it taking women longer, they usually want the man to say it first..

  4. Andrea-733195 March 31, 2012 Reply

    Note to CM webmaster: the date and timing are off. It states the above comment was written on March 31st at 2:57 am when it’s 8 PM on March 30th…

  5. Andrea-733195 March 31, 2012 Reply

    Great job Jess with the article

  6. Ramona-738757 March 25, 2012 Reply

    “Relationship stereotypes hold us all back in so many ways, and it’s up to us to embrace our feelings and our intuition, whether you are male or female or whether our society says it’s ok to express your emotions.” This was my favorite part of this article! It summed up what I have been saying for months on CM and how I feel in general. Secular world or within Catholicism one has to take responsibility for making a life of happiness. When it comes to matters of the heart we have a tendency to hide behind these so called rules which are fueled by stereotypes. Is it a rule or is it a stereotype even?
    Thank you, Jessica. Having the courage to be is so much more profound.

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