Choosing The Blessings Right In Front Of Me


Single Catholic girl at grill: How to embrace single life

I never pictured myself to be in my 30s and not married. I thought I would have a spouse to tackle life with, but alas, here I am: on my own, with a degree, a career and my very own bills to pay.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I’m a big girl now with big decisions to make. Whether it is deciding what to have for lunch or picking a financial plan, I need to choose by myself.

Sure, I would rather have a guy in my life to help me cut down the huge vines in my yard, but he isn’t here yet, so I better dig in. It would be great if I had a husband who could teach me how to grill the perfect steak — since I always burn mine — but in the meantime, I better go turn down the heat.

Isn’t raking leaves, picking a movie or grocery shopping more fun with another person? Sure it is, but sometimes we single folk need to sort out everyday tasks on our own.

Although I lament having a single heart, there are definite perks to being the decision maker.  

Last semester I decided to take a class two days before it started and I didn’t need to worry about affecting anyone’s schedule.

This summer I have the freedom to travel to Spain with my single gal friends for two whole weeks!

And during my last trip to Virginia my little niece Molly asked, “Mom, why is Aunt Robyn buying red cowboy boots?” My sister responded with a smile, “because she can.”

Single life gives us advantages that we may not have as married persons. This time is a blessing that we may not have for long. But I know what you are going to say: “I would enjoy the single life more if I knew there was an end in sight!”

You’re right, it would be nice to know if (sometime soon) I will be married with children, but for some reason God wants me to be single right now. This reality can leave me feeling bitter and sad. It is difficult to understand — when you desire married life and pray for it daily, why God would make me feel so uncertain? We are all called to love, so when will it be my turn? I yell heavenward.

While I wait for God to speak, I realize Lent is the perfect time to focus on the blessings right in front of me.

No, I don’t have any children, but I do have 22 nieces and nephews (with two more on the way!) that I can love and spoil in a way that only a single aunt can do.

Without a husband to devote my time to, I have more opportunities to serve Jesus. I have more time for prayer, daily Mass and even to start a weekly date night with Jesus at Eucharistic adoration.

This Lent how are you deciding to use the time God has given to you as a single person? We are all called to a relationship. Right now God wants your single heart. Will you answer?



  1. Josh-196444 February 5, 2013 Reply

    Very good writing talent, Robyn!

  2. Marita-847688 August 30, 2012 Reply

    I can relate to all of it, especially the part about the end in sight. I’m in my late 20’s and I try to remind myself that I can do things that people who are married with children can’t, like take a Sunday nap or make a quick run to the store without having to get any kids ready. I know that this time God is calling me to be closer to him by going to Daily Mass more and Eucharistic Adoration more often.

  3. Kat-881112 August 30, 2012 Reply

    Beautiful post, Robyn!

    Blessed is the man to be loved by you!!

    Bless you!!

  4. Anabelle-858981 May 23, 2012 Reply

    I couldn’t agree more. I am inspired by your article. It is wonderfully written and I can really relate into it although I am just 23. But I’m about to start med school and I used to think that “I would enjoy the single life more if I knew there was an end in sight!” Your writing substantiated my plans on growing and serving God wholeheartedly and celebrating the gift of singleness while I wait for the right person. Besides, I have nieces and nephews that I wouldn’t get tired of spoiling! 🙂 May God bless you, Robyn. And thank you for being an inspiration to other single ladies out there!

  5. Alexandra-136238 May 11, 2012 Reply

    I’m with you, Robyn! Thank you!

  6. Sharonne-844589 April 19, 2012 Reply

    This is really a wonderful articles esp. for me in my 30s and still single…Your conclusion has actually pointed me to the direction I should be taking; making a weekly date night with Jesus in Eucharistic adoration – what a beautiful way to put it.

  7. Anita-471998 April 7, 2012 Reply

    Love this article, I have a niece and a nephew and i am 30 single with a degree and a career and i can relate to this article… love the line “Right now god wants your single heart”

  8. Phuong-838975 March 22, 2012 Reply

    I like this article so much. Thanks 🙂

  9. Kate M. March 20, 2012 Reply

    On the nose Robyn. It great that you are focusing on the positive and taking advantage of the state of life that you are currently called to.

  10. Heather V. March 20, 2012 Reply

    Thanks Robyn! You always speak from the heart.

  11. Dharmawati-459697 March 20, 2012 Reply

    Great article! It feels like you’re voicing my feelings and thoughts. Thanks :))

  12. Jacquelyn-776489 March 20, 2012 Reply

    Perfectly Put!

  13. Stephen-725391 March 19, 2012 Reply

    Single, not by choice, at 63 and wanting it otherwise, you words do bring some comfort and a little hope. Hope fully your life will be filled with joys greater than you can imagine. Stephen

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