Poll: How Old Is too Old? How Young Is Too Young?


How much older or younger would you go in your search for a spouse? Some CatholicMatch members shared their preferences. 


“10 years both ways…”



“Never younger, same age, or 10-13 years older.”



“I used to think 2 years younger and up to 5or 6 older, but I’m starting to find that this might be limiting myself a lot!”



“20 up or down.”



“If I need to shave more than you? Too young.
If I have to put you to bed? Too old.”



“Basically I tend to go 10 years either way but really prefer closer age than that.”



“I have gone as much as 7 years younger. Have never dated anybody older though. I think dating someone any more than about 3 years older would be a little uncomfortable for me.”



“In a search I go up or 54-64. [Donna is 59.] Considering that most men want a woman younger than them, I don’t hold out much hope for a man any younger than me. But I still look at their profiles. It makes me a little nervous though when many of the men who browse me are 70-80. My dad is 83…Even I have my limits.”



“I would go for a guy 5 years younger or 5 to 8 years older. Too young, they are into activities too wild and risky for me. Heck, I don’t even Twitter. More than 10 years older than me, they are set in their own ways and don’t want to stay out and have fun. Anyone wanting to go to bed by 7 pm is too old for me or takes 10 to 20 pills for medical issues. I have to set limits to make sure we have things in common to do together and that we can keep up with each other.”



“I usually go with 5 years younger to 10 years older.”



“10 years, but the reality is that 45- to 60-year-old men like to contact 30-something women.”



What’s your age range? And what are your thoughts behind it? Leave a comment below!



  1. Sara-1195898 November 11, 2015 Reply

    I’m 24, and my search parameters are usually 21-33. So, three years younger and 9 or 10 years older.

  2. Mark-1051916 November 9, 2014 Reply

    I really like 8 years younger and 2 years older

  3. Sabrina M. July 16, 2014 Reply

    As long as you’re not going after jailbait, then who cares about chronological age?

    • John-857142 November 13, 2014 Reply

      I agree. Its the person, their heart and attitude that matters and not their age. I have no preset restrictions, in either direction. But at 71, anyone younger than 46 who has a serious interest in me, will require much more discernment from me as well as a longer time to truly experience each other before I commit myself, body and soul, to loving her and being one with her in Christ.

  4. Amanda-944280 March 7, 2014 Reply

    I dated someone 31 years older than me and we were very happy together.

  5. Helena-961554 April 16, 2013 Reply

    5 years younger, 10 years older. more or less. But God is in charge in the end.

  6. Paul J. K. September 13, 2012 Reply

    The younger, the better!

  7. Amy-719608 June 28, 2012 Reply

    I think I amended my search to 1 year younger and 10-11 years older. I’ve found more success with men older than me, and I think that seems to be pretty common. I’m silly but also very driven and serious–men my age are just thinking they should really settle down–I want someone who is already driven and looking for their wife. 🙂

  8. Marita-847688 June 26, 2012 Reply

    What does being physically active have to do with dating someone younger than you? I’m so tired of that excuse. Or the one about men being less mature or the one about women aging faster. Be honest with yourself, gentlemen. It’s about looks and age for you. I’m okay with dating someone a few years older or a few years younger but really? A 40 year old man with a 25 year old?

  9. Rafael S. June 26, 2012 Reply

    i just read: take the older person age, divide by two and add 7. any younger is too young.

    • Marita-847688 June 27, 2012 Reply

      So you’re saying that if you were 30 you’d be okay with dating a 67 year old lady.

      • Marita-847688 June 29, 2012 Reply

        My mistake. A 30 year old can date up to 46, but can go down to 22. 40 can go up to 66 or 67, but can go down to 27. By the same token, a 50 year old can go down to 32, but they can date up to 84 or 85. Anyone else see anything wrong with this logic?

  10. Lauren-715653 June 24, 2012 Reply

    I don’t think I would date someone younger than me. I usually look for men around 3 to 8 years older than me as the ones closer to my age or younger are usually not looking for anything serious and aren’t ready for any sort of commitment or marriage right now. Narrowing my search to around 23 to 27ish.

  11. Lucy-86674 April 18, 2012 Reply

    I would date someone 5-8 years older and 3 years younger 🙂

  12. Lynn-189934 April 18, 2012 Reply

    I will date about ages 28 to 40. Definitely not younger than that, and no older. I prefer mid 30s, but have been compatible with a little younger. In person, I attract women far too young for me. 😀

  13. Candida-568910 April 18, 2012 Reply

    My preference is 5 yrs either ways. It’s important however that the man be physically fit as i love outdoor activities.

  14. Evelyn-529920 April 18, 2012 Reply

    I prefer men who are at least 3 years younger and no older than 10 years my senior. If I dated anyone 12-15 years younger than me I will feel like I am dating one of my sons. That’s just toooooo young for me.

  15. Patrick-738844 April 17, 2012 Reply

    Mr. or Miss perfect is fine but in reality not there. A 35y.o. single woman has a 5% chance of ever finding a match and becoming married. Don’t be too picky, read everyone’s profile and be open to lots of options and don’t be narrow minded. Old Irish saying: many a shabby colt makes a fine horse.

    • Vivienne-926474 May 3, 2013 Reply

      Patrick you are you coming from an attitude of scarcity?

      You see my God has made all things possible. He is a God of multiplication and increase not of famine .And his ways are not our ways. His thoughts are way higher than ours. And he answers prayers. May every CM woman and man seeking a spouse be found the perfect one suddenly by the God of Elijah the God of Abraham and the God of Issac. Amen.

      • Heather-983600 January 16, 2016 Reply

        Great comment! Men on this post are very cynical and do not allow God to bring a miracle in their life. They are being very calculating and worse than woman for trying to beat the clock. You need to be open to God finding your match and often that is someone in your own age group.

  16. Peter-838430 April 17, 2012 Reply

    Perhaps 2 years older and 5 years younger. Does it make sense? Not at all but that is just me.

  17. Paul-532912 April 17, 2012 Reply


    It is very difficult to find women who are in good shape mentally as well as physically. Case in point: I went for a hike on a date with a 25-year lady and she was spent before the halfway mark. Maybe I am unique for my age since I feel that I am in better shape now than I was in college, however, it is not that difficult to keep your weight down, your tone up and your attitude positive – thus mind, body and soul. Finally, if you want to start a family, as I do, a younger woman is most likely to be open-minded about procreating children. One cannot escape the fact that God made us different where women tend to age faster than men.

    • Marita-847688 June 26, 2012 Reply

      Just a side note that maybe in the future instead of complaining that she cannot keep up with you, just be happy that she was willing to try some of your activities because it shows she was genuinly interested in you enough to at least give it a go. Trust me. She knew good and well she was going to be tired, but she wanted to see how far she could walk to impress you. I think men in general should be happy that a woman is trying to be active (even if it’s only for a date). So she can’t run 10 miles, but maybe you could do one or two together and she may start to like it enough to where she can do longer sprints and be able to keep up the pace. You may inspire her to start a new hobby. No person is going to fit exactly perfect into your ideal mold if you only date younger women who have to be very physically active along with all the other traits you admire. And remember that before you know it, those same 25 year olds who were once impressed with you won’t be around for much longer. I find it so cocky when a man twice a woman’s age says that men stay younger faster. They age at the same rate, but some men can be very superficial and see models on t.v. Then they compare them to normal women they think that women age fast because they don’t look like the air brushed model in magazines.

    • Ginny-871888 June 26, 2012 Reply

      Paul, I disagree with your statement that women age faster than men…the reverse is closer to the norm. Women mature sooner but tend to live longer… You talked about a 25 year old not being able to keep up? Well, many, many women twice that age probably can…it depends on the woman. Age is over-rated. There are so many other variables that are important.

      • Amy-719608 June 28, 2012 Reply

        Totally agree. Person by person basis seems to be more true than anything else…And nobody is going to PERFECTLY match any of our ideal matches…and I’m learning to be charitable and open to what God wants to show me. 🙂

    • Ann-1080387 April 27, 2014 Reply

      Men die sooner.

      • Heather-983600 January 16, 2016 Reply

        Very valid point. That is why I think women over 30 should not date any man more than 5 years their age. That is why I have adopted the rule of 5 plus or minus. I find some of these comments by men disturbing. My father used to date women only 10 years older than me and at one time the same age as me. They had nothing in common at all. Men who are all gunning for 20 and 30-something women are trying to beat the clock. When it is becoming more common knowledge that it is the older man’s sperm that causes significant difficulty in conceiving while the older woman can reproduce into her 50s. Having children may be God’s plan for some of these men, but it may be through adoption or someone else’s children from a previous marriage.

        I automatically delete men who visit my page that are older or younger than 5 plus or minus my age.

        Thank you for making that significant comment.

  18. Patricia-742727 April 17, 2012 Reply

    I have found that many younger men, below 50 even, have viewed me and sent me flirts and messages quite often. What does a man 20 or 30 years younger than I want with a 76 year old woman? My oldest son is 54, so that is definitely not an option! For me, 2 to 3 years either way is the best way to go. I’ve asked God to choose someone for me, if if is His will, so I’m still waiting.

    • Margaret-650274 April 18, 2012 Reply

      Well Patricia, you have had more luck than me, not that I’m looking for young men. I have been on this site a long time I am a nice person, I would say that wouldn’t I?

      I include seeking a partner in my prayers every night and I too am stil waitingl, I often wish the church would arrange singles nights social for single and widowed people.

  19. Patricia-742727 April 17, 2012 Reply

    I have found that many younger men, even below 50 are viewing me and sending me flirts and messages. What does a man 20 to 30-years younger than I want with a 76 year old woman? My oldest son is 54, so that is not an option! So for me, the choice is 2 or 3 years either way. Pat

  20. Ellen-814998 April 17, 2012 Reply

    I have a lot of life to live…. with someone 5-10 years younger if we have the same interests in common. Older men seem to be looking (or needing) a “nurse”, or a “purse” that doesn’t fit my description at this time! Maybe I should lie about my age! Or do real women scare men over 60???

  21. Sam-546593 April 17, 2012 Reply

    When I was in high school the girls were attracted to older guys, since I was a year younger than everyone else. Now that I am 47, and ever since I was over 30, I have heard that women do not want a guy much older than her. I have stopped buying into any of it. I do not think age matters much at all; it is much more a function of compatibility and background leading to consensus of life and its troubles and how to best handle them.

  22. Emily-628945 April 17, 2012 Reply

    Jos, if you are looking to start a family, I put you in the first “side” of life. God blessed me with 4 children when my ex and I were young…then, being the same age worked for us (but neither of us knew how to communicate well especially in terms of conflict resolution…hence, divorce!). I wish you well . Emily 🙂
    PS: My sister was 37 when she had her first child…her friend was close to 50.

  23. Jos-22128 April 17, 2012 Reply

    I want children, I believe God’s plan for me includes children. As I’ve passed 40, that automatically elimitates women in their late 30’s and older.

    • Ramona-652361 April 17, 2012 Reply

      Why the elimination?

    • Andrew-845814 April 17, 2012 Reply

      Agreed. For someone wishing to have children, the age of your dating pool should be considered. Although it is possible, it can be difficult to get pregnant if your spouse is over 40.

      • Ramona-652361 April 19, 2012 Reply

        Then those who say no to the over 40 crowd are missing out and condemning others. There’s this thing called “faith”………..

    • Elena-1001912 November 10, 2013 Reply

      Most women don’t go through menopause until age 50 or older. Catholic women who have avoided artificial contraception and haven’t damaged their fertility can conceive children well into their forties. I think that it is really important to understand the biology of human reproduction before making a judgement. Also, the sperm of older men can cause problems for a pregnancy or developing baby. So, I believe marrying younger is the ideal for both parties, but the bible has a lot of precedent for older couples conceiving with God’s help.

  24. Emily-628945 April 17, 2012 Reply

    My activity level and energy puts me closer to men who are younger than I am…10 years does not seem to be a big deal. I think it makes sense for a woman to be with a younger man for the second “side” of life because women tend to age more slowly than men. It’s a conundrum for me, however, because I like the emotional maturity of someone my age but physically, I find many men my age are already slowing down….and I don’t mean the unmentionable…Being on a dating site has been frustrating because I feel that the numbers are so very important and men seem to be looking for “younger” women, instead of being more open and actually meeting a woman. I hope to find an emotionally mature, healthy, active man with whom I can share an adventurous life…whatever his age!

  25. PaulKal-588515 April 17, 2012 Reply

    I’m 76 and I don’t really care what age a person is as long as she took good care of her apperance and likes to work out & play golf, cards, long walks, moonlight, romance, music of most kinds, believes in Jesus. Is willing to give herself over to God to use her up. Bup bah, bup-bup bah. If she sings, all the better.

  26. John-202956 April 17, 2012 Reply

    Statistically speaking, there can be exceptions maybe even up to 20 years. However, there are mostly very rare. Within 10 I would say is the norm. As someone gets beyond 15 years in difference, it is hard to connect to someone who technically could be your own child with common life experiences in the roughly same time frame. It also causes problems in rearing children because one person may be too old to do things with their child/children that a more median age range would not have a problem with. I personally prefer someone as close to my age as I can find.

  27. Javier-614247 April 16, 2012 Reply

    I’m turning 47 in 2 weeks & have dated women between the age of 30 to 50 but would go as high as 55. My parents are 16 years difference in age & still married.

  28. Bob-179105 April 16, 2012 Reply

    Like everything in my “new life,” I am leaving up to our dear Lord. However, I hope and pray that I could be the cause of new life. Hence, I am hoping and praying that if it is in “God’s Plan,” I will fall deeply in love with a true Lady, whom wants God to bless us with a child, and/or a family. Thanks to all, God bless you and yours!

  29. Amy-718758 April 16, 2012 Reply

    I search for men up to 10 years older but I also realize that I have no idea what God has planned for me. He knows what is best and I believe that He will show me the man He has in mind for me to spend the remainder of my life with. I just have to be patient and pray that I am not 10 years older when that man enters my life.

  30. MaryLou-842487 April 16, 2012 Reply

    Most men on thes sites want younger women so many of us don’t have a chance. There are many women to choose from so we women don’t have a chance. Too bad since I work out 4 times a week and I’m good shape and told I’m attractive. I would date someone 5 yrs. younger and 4 yrs. older. Such is life. Lousy being part of the single scene after so many wonderful yrs. of marriage.

    • Sandra-847148 April 16, 2012 Reply

      I agree with you MaryLou. It’s hard getting back in the dating game!!

    • Ramona-652361 April 17, 2012 Reply

      I hear you, I also work out, and I am very active. I responded to a post once, the reply that I got back was he “loved my profile, but, he wanted to start a family & didn’t think that it was something I wanted” I replied that actually I did still want children, this was even in my profile. I heard…………….crickets. Ok fine, grab a younger model, will she read all of the Little House on the Prairie books to your girls? Be a den mother, coach the track team, alter your new slacks, and cook for 22 when you want the family over after she put in 8 hours at the office? No worries, Mother Mary is working on my Mister Right, I’ll wait.

      • Melisa-842379 August 9, 2012 Reply

        Sad to say you’re right Ramona. What else can I say. I’ve saw it on Match.com and I’m seeing it here.

        When I’ve met guys in person, I’ve had interest from men 10 years younger and I’m the one saying, “You’re too young.” (because it is for me) — but, on a dating site, you don’t see the person in action, hear their voice, their personality, so one uses the number as the barometer.

        Ah, well. Use it a strainer and let the good ones float to the top.

  31. Jason-472304 April 16, 2012 Reply

    I agree with Ramona: starting at 30 or so and later, 3 years older or 7 years younger for men, vice versa for women seems fitting.

    My reasoning? Girls develop a bit faster than boys initially, and I’ve the sneaking suspicion that they keep it up through life. We poor boys need some kind of an edge, in equity. =) Although it’s hardly a hard-and-fast rule.

    • Ramona-652361 April 17, 2012 Reply

      You wrote “and I’ve the sneaking suspicion that they keep it up through life.” and I laughed out loud, yup LOL

    • Apple-294188 May 1, 2012 Reply

      Haha that was funny! LOL here!

  32. Bobbie-557829 April 16, 2012 Reply

    I have dates 10yrs younger.No problem with that.I am physically active & find a lot of men
    my age out of shape.

  33. Stephen-725391 April 15, 2012 Reply

    I just turned 63. I have believe that “age appropriate” is, nothing else considered, is 15+- years younger. Like everything else in this life, there are exceptions, REMEMBER that!

  34. Ramona-652361 April 14, 2012 Reply

    My attraction by age is usually younger 2, older 7. Once in awhile I’ll get a surprise but it’s rare.

  35. Ramona-738757 April 14, 2012 Reply

    How long do you think you can keep me happy? Answer this…negotiate later.

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