Jim Was The Noble Gentleman Shirley Wasn’t Looking For



Shirley had no interest in dating—not just online dating but the 61-year-old paralegal living in the Houston area was not looking to marry again after her first husband passed away. But she had a doctor who wouldn’t let up, asking her several times—over a period of years—if she was dating anyone.

Finally, Shirley decided to join an online site. “It gave me something to offer the doctor, whom I suspected felt I was not advancing past the grieving stage,” she said.

The first site she tried was a secular one and it didn’t meet her taste or values. The ad for CatholicMatch on the back of her parish bulletin caught her eye and she decided to give it six months. “If anything I knew I could meet interesting friends who shared my widowhood,” she said, recalling her thoughts at the time.

Six months had nearly come and gone and there was no kindling romance in the works. That was fine with Shirley. “I had decided this would suffice as my attempt to move on,” she candidly admitted. But one week before the subscription lapsed she got a message from a businessman, five years older than she and also in the Houston area. “Jim contacted me saying we appeared to be a 100% match,” Shirley recalled.

Jim and Shirley first met face-to-face at a CatholicMatch event and then begin getting together for dates that always began with Mass. She was doing her level best not to fall in love again—“I only intended to marry once in my life,” she pointed out. But she also couldn’t help but notice “Jim was such a gentleman… gentle, compassionate, and kind.”

Their dates had a simple quality to them that brought out a true romantic feeling. “We walked on The Strand and the beach in Galveston; strolled through the Kemah Boardwalk,” Shirley told CatholicMatch. And they continued to attend Mass together, taking turns attending each other’s parishes.

But it wasn’t these dates that made the biggest impression on Shirley. It was what Jim did for others. He brought the Eucharist to homebound parishioners, including a married couple with Alzheimer’s and dementia. “I watched him interacting with these people in the most loving way.  He spoke to them as though there wasn’t any disability…I couldn’t help but fall in love with someone who embodied all the good qualities this world has to offer.”

A process that had begun mainly so Shirley could return to her doctor to in say “This is what I’ve done, I’ve moved on” and ensure that the doctor and others in her family could leave her alone, was drawing her deeper into love.

Jim was the husband Shirley wasn’t seeking, but won her heart anyway.

She had mentioned to Jim a song she liked, “Tell It Like It Is”, by Aaron Neville. He went out of his way to buy the song, and they danced to it in front of the fireplace at a home he’d bought and renovated. On her next visit, they danced their again and this time he proposed marriage. Jim assured Shirley he didn’t need an answer then, and he didn’t get one.

Their next time together was a trip to a cabin, and Jim assured Shirley he had no plans to broach the topic again. “Since this was a Leap Year it should be me who should ask him for his hand in marriage,” she recalled.

The cabin trip was a test to see how they would respond to several days with each other and Shirley decided that indeed it was time. She “proposed” back to Jim, her way of delivering what she called a “resounding, affirmative yes.”

When Shirley lost her husband it was more than just not wanting to date again. She really didn’t know who she was or what she would be again. God brought her through it, and to a good man who shared her not just her faith, but her values and appreciation of the simple things.

The wedding took place on St. Patrick’s Day and they have started building a new life together, Their home is the one Jim renovated and where they first danced to Aaron Neville. It was a house Jim originally intended to sell as an investment, but instead became the foundation of a new life.

Shirley retired from full-time work, though she still helps her daughter, who is an attorney, with paralegal work. She’s also worked at learning Jim’s business from his daughter.

Life is full of blessings for Jim and Shirley. They let God lead them and found the way to a new beginning.



  1. Margaret-855803 July 2, 2012 Reply

    Hearing your story gives me courage.

  2. Barbara-849029 June 11, 2012 Reply

    May God’s blessing be always yours.

  3. Ithro-543226 May 31, 2012 Reply

    Did not realize that this was a person I had ever seen before until you answered! Fantastic and congratulations, Shirley! May God always bless you and Jim.

  4. Mary-487190 May 26, 2012 Reply

    I remember you Shirley. : ) Congratulations on finding love again with God’s intervention.

    Best wishes to you.

  5. Jordie-610865 May 24, 2012 Reply

    truly a blessing from God, Amen. I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness !

  6. Anne-702606 May 23, 2012 Reply

    I like the story, God’s blessings come anytime to those who trust and believe in Him and also at God given time. (2 corinthians 2:14) But thanks be to God, Who in Christ always leads us in triumph…”

    God bless you and protect you both enjoy your marriage and keep thanking, praying and trusting in Lord, He is a faithful Father always.

    From Kenya

  7. Constance W. May 21, 2012 Reply

    Jim,we’ve known you for many years and you’ve always been a great guy. Shirley will have a great life knowing you and loving you.

  8. Diane-741181 May 20, 2012 Reply

    It is as wonderful story JIm & Shirley. May you have many blessed days together.

  9. thank you Jim and Shirley for this beautiful story, God bless you both,

  10. Kathy-730470 May 19, 2012 Reply

    Jim and Shirley that is a beautiful story. It just goes to show that when you are not looking or expecting anything love has a way of finding you. Congratulations and God Bless you both.

    • Shirley-698687 May 22, 2012 Reply

      Thank you for your lovely words. That is absolutely true. Neither of us had any expectations other than our prayers to God to lead us forward toward His will. Were we both ever surprised at the turn of events. May God bless you.

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