The War Against “Man Pleasing, Modest” Women


There are a lot of things wrong with modern attitudes today that I can get really upset about. For example I don’t like the way men in general, and fathers in particular, are treated. The media and progressive thinkers hold men up as useless unless you need a bug squashed or your vanity boosted. Fathers used to know best… now, they’re poised as idiots who don’t understand anything and should stay out of your business unless you need money. What a tragic loss of understanding the great gifts and strengths of a male.


But, I’m really aggravated by a current trend and it’s affect on women, young and old. It’s the trendy perspective that women have to be selfish, have nasty attitudes and get all up in your face to get attention and have someone love them. Sorry, not only does that not work for me, but it’s a complete distortion of the truth.


Recently, I read a few articles that prompted me to write about this because I haven’t seen a worse perversion of the truth that is the essence of the value and dignity of women than in what I read.


The first article I read by Camile Paglia of the Hollywood Reporter headlined that “…Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Hollywood Are Ruining Women.” I was intrigued because it seemed like such a mix of interests. Taylor is sweet, Katy infuriates me, and was someone finally admitting that Hollywood is ruining women??


But, alas, it was quite a let-down. The author’s main point was this sentiment:


Despite the passage of time since second-wave feminism erupted in the late 1960s, we’ve somehow been thrown back to the demure girly-girl days of the white-bread 1950s. It feels positively nightmarish to survivors like me of that rigidly conformist and man-pleasing era, when girls had to be simple, peppy, cheerful and modest.




The article went on to imply that Taylor Swift was targeting impressionable young girls and infecting them with blandness and a “golly, gee whiz” persona. On the other hand, another articled hailed Madonna as “her madgesty” (the word spelled to reflect Madonna’s nickname, Madge), stating we should all bow down before her. What a gross misunderstanding of the true value of feminism and being feminine.


I love the word “feminine” because it says “beautiful woman.” But “feminine” isn’t necessarily describing a female who is merely physically attractive. The meaning of that word, according to the New Oxford Dictionary/Thesaurus are descriptions like “womanly, ladylike, gentle, graceful, girly, etc.” Correct me if I’m wrong, guys, but isn’t this the type of woman you would like to have a relationship with?


I know a lot of women who don’t classify themselves as “girly” because it brings up images of hot pink, high heels, tiny, fluffy dogs and long nails. But they are still quite womanly and graceful.”  Their graceful disposition is often revealed in their resilience and strength in challenging times. They love, they create. They don’t speak words that sting your ears or make men grovel at their feet.


John Paul II’s, Mulieris dignitatem, a papal letter addressing the dignity and vocation of women and I encourage you to take the time to read it. It points out the richness and importance of the vocation of the woman, the foundation of it, being love. He writes:


When we say that the woman is the one who receives love in order to love in return… it means something more universal, based on the very fact of her being a woman within all the interpersonal relationships which, in the most varied ways, shape society and structure the interaction between all persons – men and women. In this broad and diversified context, a woman represents a particular value by the fact that she is a human person, and, at the same time, this particular person, by the fact of her femininity. This concerns each and every woman, independently of the cultural context in which she lives, and independently of her spiritual, psychological and physical characteristics, as for example, age, education, health, work, and whether she is married or single.


If only the female celebrities and modern feminists of today would read and reflect on these thoughts, it would open an entirely new world of happiness for them.


John Paul’s words, “It is universally admitted – even by people with a critical attitude towards the Christian message – that in the eyes of his contemporaries Christ became a promotor of women’s true dignity and of the vocation corresponding to this dignity” can soothe even the sharpest of attitudes if the message were allowed to sink in.


I am raising two girls and I know they will be out of the house soon and facing the world according to the Hollywood Reporter, which is why I believe it’s important for them and every woman to recognize the beauty of being truly feminine and understand what a compliment her nature is to a man’s.


In the end, I believe women will find a lasting, fulfilling relationship with a man if they capitalize on their gifts of grace, nurturing love, and inner beauty.


Feel free to send your comments or vent your disagreements at




  1. Michael-369664 June 28, 2016 Reply

    Wow Diana–lots of fireworks there. I’m a baby boomer, now 60, and sorry most girls from my time
    had NO interest in average guys. You sound bitter because you were overlooked. Sorry but it happens to lots of us, your character, family, etc have nothing to do with how men respond to you.
    How often did you approach guys for conversation, sharing an experience etc.? So many women still expect and wait for a guy to make the first move. Sorry aggressive women will beat you out if you don’t get in the mix. Lots of guys like me often didn’t approach the pretty girl because we feared and expected rejection. That was my experience 95% of the time. I finally stopped talking to all women over time. It almost always led to problems. I’m single, never married, still a virgin, and I feel lucky I never had a divorce, unhappy marriage, or all the drama so many couples endure. It was painful to always feel rejected, but the price of finding someone to love finally got too high. I gave up. No one owes anyone a date or a relationship. You must do all you can to get the ball rolling or you will get left behind. In this culture men are programmed to be led by our tails, look around—modesty for most women or girls is not even remotely part of their lives. The sexual temptations and impure influences y in our culture cause great harm to both sexes. In the end lots of us end up lonely and unloved. It’s truly sad and there is no way we can restore modesty to the society today. Women are marketed as sex objects all the time. If we devalue their humanity or describe men as lustful beasts, can you see why it’s so hard for good people to find partners?

  2. Diana-1229708 June 21, 2016 Reply

    This is my take on it. I have noticed since I was a teen how passive most guys of my generation were. Yes, I am referring to the Baby Boomers. My Dad used to tell me how in his day, no girl, no matter how Plain Jane she was, was always asked out to dance by the young gentlemen of the time. I was a pretty gal or at least pleasing to the eyes in my late teens and twenties. I came from a good family, was properly brought up, had a good character and so forth. It really hurt me, that I was ignored. I was not the only one, other girls who not “slutty” suffered the same fate. I noticed that these aggressive girls hunted down the guys, got pregnant and forced them to marry them. So don’t complain men, if you were financially cleaned out through a divorce, out, got cheated on and so forth — you got what you deserved if you allowed yourselves to be led by your tail.

  3. Ann-69118 March 2, 2015 Reply

    Yeah definitely tired of the mass media demoralizing men as idiots and women as power hungry know it alls. Each gender has his strengths and weaknesses. And you can’t generalize about people. On the other side I am happy there are strong women charactors out there and and men not afraid to show they are not all unemotional action. I don’t watch much if any tv and don’t care for shows that perpetuate the tired cliche’s on the sexes.

  4. William-675153 December 29, 2013 Reply

    Pretty accurate to me- fallen man continues to embrace the culture of death and lies -lead by the great deceiver Satan. Thank you God for your Church, the Bible, and all men and women who seek God and his truth above all else.

  5. Nilda-834707 February 8, 2013 Reply

    Lynn, I stopped watching the Angels when Cheryl Ladd wrestled and wasted the alligator in one of their episodes. For crying out loud!

  6. Nilda-834707 February 8, 2013 Reply

    This blog should be mentioned in the forum. I’m sure it would trigger many responses. About the latest tv comedies, terrible is all I can say. The Big Bang Theory and Cougar Town are frought with sex, snarky remarks and over all bad behavior by both men and women. In the 90s there was Seinfeld, Roseanne and Friends. Would love to watch a good comedy that doesn’t make me want to run to the nearest confessional. It seems every decade the programs get raunchier.

  7. Lynn-189934 February 4, 2013 Reply

    On the flip, Beyonce and company were scandalous with their pseudo stripper routines during the half-time show. I was not amused.

  8. Lynn-189934 February 4, 2013 Reply

    Where is Nancy Drew when you want to date her in real-life? Oh yeah, she’s still probably 18 and living at home. 🙂

  9. Jean-939199 January 31, 2013 Reply

    I have been viewing modern day tv shows as of late, and I too find that the male characters in the media are often time cast as useless, ignorant men whom the female characters delight in taking advantage of, and in putting them down in meaningless ways. It has rather perturbed me. God did not intend for either gender to be cast in a downward light. The ‘mean girl’ persona has been carried too far, with personal dignity, femininity and ‘class’ being characteristics not to be appreciated. The out-of-control angry female is cast in righteous roles, but they are women with little to stand on.
    I am a woman who grew up believing in the rights of all persons.

  10. Meesch-691047 January 31, 2013 Reply

    I agree with you completely… except I can’t deny that I am really fond of the red high heel in your picture for this article!

  11. Max-761111 January 30, 2013 Reply

    Definitely I agree with this article!!! Thank You for writing it!

  12. Mark-70622 January 30, 2013 Reply

    Heck, I would think the Queen of England would be considered “feminine”, but during WW2 she was a truck mechanic. So I do think that a woman can be intelligent, and handy with her hands, but still be feminine.

    • Lynn-189934 February 4, 2013 Reply

      June would have had to change—I meant that her dresses were not as realistic, as say, Laura Petrie (who wore pants at all costs at home). I agree with Jean that men are depicted as foolish and inept, instead of the way it was in the 1950s and 60s, which was an opposite stereotype: Lucy had to be put in her place by her sensible husband, Ricky, June was able to make small decisions but was a worrier and frequently needed Ward. Ozzie was actually a bumbler and kind of silly as a dad, meaning Harriet had to resolve it. Rob and Laura were both equally silly at times, but also had a serious and responsible side. And then there’s Broad (Maude), that 70’s liberated woman who was smarter and sassier than the men around her, and slowly, the situation comedy version of a father was a silly or foolish one, while the woman showed who really had the brains, and they frequently did so at the expense of their husband’s self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong, certain things about the 70’s second-wave feminism were okay: equal pay for equal jobs, for one, and some strong female role models (albeit ones like Police Woman, the Angels, and Wonder Woman, who all were expolitative as well). . . . but really, only “The Middle,” shows two parents who make mistakes as they try to be better mother, father, and couple. . . most do show the dumb dad with the ultra-hottie, sometimes scantily or tightly clad, wife. HMMMM.

  13. Con-888377 January 29, 2013 Reply

    Hmmm! There seems to be a familiar fingerprint all over this. Now who hates human beings with a flaming passion, especially women. Who is it that takes extreme delight in every abortion as though it were a delicacy. Who is it that is at the back of inflaming same sex attraction as another acceptable relationship option. The list of bent out of shape attitudes to sexuality, family and so on is unfortunately is quite a long one, but it is all to one end. The destruction of all humanity, physically and spiritually. This nemesis of all humanity has a name and that name is Satan and one of his greatest hates is Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Angels and Queen of Saints. There is the burr in this beings pride, a WOMAN has been placed over him and he is forced to obey her commands by the Almighty Trinity of Beings, God The Creator of Heaven and Earth. This is the reason behind the fury, murder and all kinds of perversion. It is Satan’s chosen way to throw God’s creation back in his face, abortion is his most preferred insult. That way these humans never get a chance to serve God and accomplish his will on Earth. In Satan’s mind this a win, win situation for him. So combining the whole strategy it pulls into a nice bloody package of wrecked and eternally lost humanity. But wait, there’s that Woman and her Son they’ve wrecked everything. Fancy God taking on humanity and redeeming this pile of human swill! That Woman! That Woman, said ‘Yes’ to the will of God!! She ruined everything!! Well I’ll destroy as many of them as I can!! I’ll lead them in a merry dance all the way to total destruction and Eternal Misery!!
    Keep you’re eye on the game and beware the Evil string puller. Mankind of all ages, needs to be made aware that there is an invisible enemy Hell bent on total annihilation of humanity. Before Satan’s time is up and there is no more opportunities for him to wreak havoc and strike at God. Maybe our sermon makers need to be making a bigger effort of alerting the people of this real war between good and evil and the ultimate cost if we chose the wrong side to serve.

  14. Nilda-834707 January 29, 2013 Reply

    Thank you, Lisa. I’ve been beating this drum for a while now. Glad for your article. Also, June Cleaver as I am sure all the moms of the 50s worked hard. Back then, they were raising large families, cooking, washing and cleaning without many of our modern conveniences. I’m sure she would have pulled out the car jack, rolled up her sleeves and changed that darn flat!

  15. Jaime-556629 January 29, 2013 Reply

    lets just love one anthor gees

  16. Lynn-189934 January 28, 2013 Reply

    I would like a feminine lady, to some extent. I don’t want June Cleaver, though. Quite honestly, I like women who are capable of changing a flat or checking their oil, but don’t if a man is there to do it. I like women who don’t take out the garbage or mow the lawn. But I’d prefer the girl in slacks and flats at home instead of the heels and pearls mentality. I consider the All-American, girl-next-door, to be somewhat like one of the Walton girls on television when I was a child: capable of farm work and chores, with a good mind for emergency mechanics and repairs, but pretty in a dress/skirt and set hair at the evening dinner table. . . I guess that’s because I like farm girls; around here, most girls could milk, ride, feed cattle, drive the tractor (at least a short distance), help move cattle, etc. and could play decent softball, but weren’t ultra-feminist, man-bashing types. . . and I guess the small town or rural girl is the most appealing to me. Keep in mind, that the classic heroine Elizabeth Bennet is unconventional in her vigor and athletic shape (walks in the mud three miles), as well as her intellect, but is otherwise feminine and displays the skills and abilities desirable in women of her era. . . a well-rounded girl, instead of one who worries about ruining her shoes on a picnic. . .

    • Maggie-918313 January 28, 2013 Reply

      June Cleaver could change a flat tire in under four minutes. I’m jus’ sayin’… 😉

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