Ways To Improve Your Relationship In 2013


Last week, I wrote about how I set intentions for the 2012—finding true love and full time work—and also that I declared it the Year of Forgiveness. I mentioned how both of those intentions became reality for me, and that this year really changed my path in life.

The forgiveness process was probably the most trying spiritual exercise I had ever undergone. I believe I’m still working on it, and probably will into next year. But in the meantime, I improved my relationships with friends that had hurt me in the past. I got closer to my family, even the ones that I thought I couldn’t forgive. I’m finally able to forgive myself for these and past transgressions, particularly with past relationships. It is the most rewarding feeling ever, and absolutely worth the heart-wrenching, difficult, messy, and vulnerable process.

Another perk of forgiveness: I am in the best, healthiest, most drama-free relationship of my life. It really is true that when it’s the right person everything falls into place, but it’s also true that forgiveness begets forgiveness. In past relationships, I found it strangely satisfying to bear grudges and to shift blame. I have no desire at all to do that. I’ve figured out that discussions instead of fights can resolve conflicts, and even bring us closer together. I’ve discovered that true love lends itself to a profound desire to forgive and forget.

True love also transcends the concerns of standard dating criteria: if we hadn’t accepted each other’s financial status at the time, neither one of us would have embarked on this relationship. At the time I’d met him, I had been underemployed for nearly five years. Most people might find that undesirable. He didn’t care. I didn’t mind that he was in a similar situation; working part-time and attending graduate school full time. I was confident that when the time is right, a full time job would come my way.

And speaking of full-time work, I had a few interviews and nothing materialized. At the end of August, I had a job offer, but I knew it was all wrong for me. And then something happened—like all good things, I never saw it coming. My boyfriend’s colleague needed someone to do freelance proofreading and copy writing. My boyfriend gave my contact information and about a week later I got an email asking for my résumé and to come in for an interview. To make a long story short, I am a copywriter, editor, teacher and adviser for an educational consulting firm. There’s a possibility that I will take over the education department later on. So even though I got my job a week before the year ended, I still got it in 2012. Does God have a sense of humor or what?

I am grateful to a CatholicMatch member who, after reading my post about my job search, told me about St. Cajetano, patron saint of the under employed and unemployed. If any members are in that situation, I encourage you to start a novena in the CatholicMatch forums in the St. Jude room. Over on Facebook, where you can find me under “Cate CM,” I have an ongoing group for the novena. For convenience, here’s the link for the prayers: Novena to St. Cajetan.

It wasn’t lost on me that being in a relationship and finding a job were connected: if I hadn’t been with my boyfriend, I’d have never gotten the job. My mother calls these moments “Godcidental.” She’s absolutely right. If this isn’t proof that setting intentions, leaving it in God’s hands and trusting others really works, I just don’t know what is!

Here’s a little bonus: On the evening of New Year’s Day, my dance teacher invited all of her students to a party to set intentions for 2013. We were instructed to bring our list of intentions for the year. I can’t think of a better way to bring in the new year, can you?

My heart skipped a beat when I realized that I met 14 out of 17 of the goals I set for myself in 2012, in addition to the love and work. Pretty compelling evidence!  This year my intentions are to maintain this amazing relationship I have, and to practice self-care (I’ll speak more about that in a future post).

I wish everyone on CatholicMatch a happy and healthy New Year, full of intentions and willingness to place those intentions into God’s hands. Letting him do all the work was the smartest thing I’d done. I hope you all find your heart’s desires in 2013. God bless!



  1. Cate Perry
    Catherine Perry January 12, 2013 Reply

    Thank you all for your very kind comments. May God’s blessings be yours in 2013!

  2. Josh-930833 January 10, 2013 Reply

    Nice, uplifting story. ^_^ What’s that? I have added activity on the site for blogs now? Sweet.

  3. Esther-532964 January 10, 2013 Reply

    I’m so glad I found and read your article. It was just what I needed to read. It is hard for me to sometimes put things into God’s hand, but I know that’s the best thing I could do for myself. I remember the saying- God helps those who help themselves. I try to help myself. I will have to keep trying and never give up. Thank you for writing the article.

  4. Meesch-691047 January 9, 2013 Reply

    Catherine, I am so happy for you! I am thankful that the beautiful mysteries of grace, love, and our own interconnectedness are blessing you in so many ways! I truly believe that when we pray and work hard to answer the dreams of our heart and inner whispers of our soul, God’s grace gives us the miracles to bring them into light. Granted, it is never the way we dream it, but is ALWAYS much better than we could ever imagine! I pray that everyone on CM is blessed with functional, healthy, life-giving relationships now and for all time. God bless!

  5. Sue-906387 January 8, 2013 Reply

    Wow what an inspiration! I pray for all the intentions of the folks here on CM.

  6. Marita-847688 January 8, 2013 Reply

    Beautiful story! That was very inspiring and something I needed to read!

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