Dateless on Valentine’s Day


Were you alone on Valentine’s Day?

When I was younger, I sought consolation in being my own valentine; but I went about it all wrong. I’d buy myself a heart-shaped box of chocolates, put on my red and white heart-emblazoned pajamas, and curl up in front of the TV to watch a Lifetime Channel boy-meets-girl movie. The “happily ever after” was some kind of Valentine miracle, of course.

This plan was clearly a recipe for disaster.

Can’t you picture it? The red candy box was tossed aside, a single bite taken out of each one because somehow I’d got the box with all the weird pink insides that nobody likes.

I end up in a pile of tears, drowning my sorrows in a mug of instant hot cocoa. 

Why do we buy into the cultural pressure that says we have nothing if we don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day—not to mention Saturday nights? Instead of internalizing all this emphasis on dating—and wringing our hands over the time we spend alone—perhaps it’s time to push back against all this media hype.

Oddly enough, I almost never go out on Saturday nights. I’ve come to appreciate my Saturday nights as my own to do whatever I want; which, as an introvert, is to enjoy the time I have for peaceful silence and contemplation.

I used to call it: “Single Girl Saturday Night,” until I described it to a friend. She was perplexed. “Why would you call it that?” She rolled her eyes at me. Over the course of our conversation, I started to see that she had a point. Why am I putting so much emphasis on dating? Why couldn’t my Saturday night at home, just be called a quiet night in? Why was I so fixated on not having a date?

This is a crucial thing to consider if you were dateless on Valentine’s Day.

In the same way that our culture provides us with endless reminders that our relationships should be more important than anything else, this one day out of the year presents itself as the pinnacle of this same kind of prioritizing.

I’m not going to finish this off wishing that everyone has a valentine for next year’s Valentine’s Day. Instead, I’ll tell you that this was—and is—just one day out of the year. My wish, instead, is that you know you’re loved, by your friends and family and most of all by the Holy Trinity who is the cornerstone of our faith.



  1. Cate Perry
    Catherine Perry February 19, 2013 Reply

    Thank you all for your comments! God bless!

  2. Eric-941851 February 18, 2013 Reply

    Valentine’s day is just another day like any other. It has been hyped up over the years by our pop culture to boost the sale of greeting cards, cheap novelty gifts and not to mention the entertainment industry using it to exploit the lustful desires of society to revert back to paganism.

  3. Gina-775037 February 16, 2013 Reply

    It’s my fourth year being single and its 2013 now and I still don’t have a guy

  4. Andrew-290721 February 16, 2013 Reply

    It wouldn’t matter if I didn’t have a date on Valentine’s Day, but it actually is just another hopeless day inasmuch as I don’t have any better fortune on any other day either.

    • Sherry-863143 February 17, 2013 Reply

      Well you just might be more blessed than you think you are. Peace

  5. Gisselle-891145 February 15, 2013 Reply

    Thanks for your words! I like very much your article and find it helpful for me. God bless you 🙂

  6. Maria-930320 February 15, 2013 Reply

    Viewing Valentine’s Day as love for all, vs ONLY love for sweethearts can shine a different perspective on the day. For instance, being in the mindset of giving, ie sending fond messages to people dear to you, such as your children, parents, siblings, which can be done as simply as texting, emailing, voicemailing, or sending a good old cute card. These are ways to bring joy to others and in turn bring you the joy and love of the day in perhaps a different way, thus taking the focus off what might not be there (this year) and putting the focus on the various “LOVES” that are there in your life.

  7. Candace-587406 February 15, 2013 Reply

    Yes, I was dateless again this year. How did you guess it, lol. Like you mentioned, Valentine’s Day is just another day. I am an introvert too, and I enjoy spending Friday nights in. I hope no CMers were too sad yesterday.

    • Ezrah-891754 February 15, 2013 Reply

      In honesty…just a bit…it’s hard to smile when you’re alone cheering yourself up :)!

  8. Josephine-611497 February 15, 2013 Reply

    I love what you said about the love we already have in our lives, of family, friends and Our Lord. A day dedicated to love should only make us love more and express our love and gratitude to our loved ones and at the best have us realise of His perfect love.

  9. Ezrah-891754 February 15, 2013 Reply

    It’s my second year of being single on Valentine’s Day and not buying into the whole idea of being together with a gal. If I do end up in a relationship on Valentine’s Day next year it would be a simple date I hope. A simple dinner where we cook food together is an ideal way to spend Valentine’s Day. I did feel that loneliness again of going against the idea of consumerism / materialism.

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