Steve Harvey on How to Find, Keep and Understand a Man


As many of you know from my previous book review, I was hesitant to read Steve Harvey’s first book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, but I found the advice so simple, honest and believable, that I came to put my trust in his books.

In his first book, he generalizes the three most important things for men: who they are, what they do, and how much they make. He points out that their identity hinges on these three things, and once they are in place, a man is ready for dating.

Harvey continues this theme in his new book, Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man. 

In Straight Talk, Harvey talks about the disservice society commits on young men by telling them to remain in adolescence until they hit 30.


30 may seem far too old, but today’s culture labels “adolescence” with a much wider age span. Teens were initially categorized, obviously, as 13-19. Now the adolescence age is 10-24—24 being the end of college as a rite of passage.

After this extended adolescence is over though, Harvey explains that boys become men and they realize that it’s time to settle down.

The smart man, however, will not commit to a relationship until he is satisfied with those three important things that I mentioned earlier.

Once men achieve the three main goals and start looking for potential wives, the truly wise men realize how valuable, smart, resourceful and stabilizing the right woman could be. Nice, right?

Harvey explains how men identify themselves, but he also points out that women have the power to set the tone of the relationship; in fact, he advices women to embrace this power and use it more effectively. Score one point for Harvey!

Harvey acknowledges that few would trust his advice, given that he is twice-divorced. But I think he does deliver on his word that he knows what he’s talking about. After all, if someone has learned from their mistakes, wouldn’t their advice be more trusted?

Harvey is a devout Christian, but he is not Catholic, so readers must read any spiritual advice with a grain of salt. Even so, I found a lot of substance and solid content in this book.

I advise the women on CatholicMatch who are looking to decode men to pick up this book. 

I’d also be interested to see what men have to say about it. Are his insights accurate? Does he know what he’s talking about? Does he have the right idea when describing men as well as women?

I’d love to hear the thoughts of CatholicMatch members about Harvey’s points of view.

Editor’s note: This a a series of book reviews exclusively for single Catholics written by our very own Cate Perry. Leave your responses and suggestions for other relevant titles in the comments below. 


1 Comment »

  1. Laura-933810 May 3, 2013 Reply

    I read Act like a Lady, Think like a Man as well and it made a lot of sense that men need to feel secure in themselves before they can fully commit to a woman. Maybe I will pick up his second book. Thanks!

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