Is an Unmarried Life a Loveless Life?


holding a red heart

It was several years ago, during a time when I was really struggling with my “singleness.”  I was pouring my heart out to my spiritual director about how I hated the prospect of never marrying, how I was sick to death of only finding the “wrong” guys and even sicker to death of showing up at events alone, how every vision I had ever envisioned for my future revolved around children, and how a life without marriage felt to me like a life without love.

He listened sympathetically, and then we began to pray about it. I don’t remember exactly how the praying went. But I do remember that, at the end, we both had a very clear sense that God had spoken. His response was this:

“Simple love is sufficient.”

“Simple love? What the heck is that? I want love love. You know, romance and fireworks and ‘forsaking all others’ and the whole package.”

“Simple love is sufficient.”

So I was left with no choice but to confront the concept of “simple love.” I had spent my entire adult life traveling around the world speaking to audiences about love. I knew what it was. And I knew there were different types of loveagape love, family love, friendship love, romantic love. Of all of them, “romantic” lovethe love of a husband and a wifewas certainly the least simple. It involves the blending of two lives and the meshing of two egos. It’s day-in-and-day-out “working it out,” building a life together. It can be incredibly rewarding (or so I’ve heard), but it isn’t simple.

DSC_0243I didn’t have romantic love in my life, but I didand dohave simple love. I have single and divorced friends who share my dateless Saturday nights and my lonely single moments. I have married friends who include me in their family dinners and their kids’ birthday parties. I have brothers who have my back, and a sister who has made me an extended part of her family. I have nieces and nephews who call me “Bopper” (or “Mom . . . I mean Bop”), who I love like they were my own. And I have a 91 year old dad who still walks over to my house to put my cans away on trash day, and an 82 year old mother who still makes dinner for me when she’s afraid I’m not eating well enough.

My life may be lacking in romantic love, but it is certainly not lacking in love.

It’s not automatic. Like married love, “simple” love needs to be constantly cultivated. I need to love. I can’t take friends or extended family for granted any more than I could take a spouse for granted. First, I need to force myself out the cozy cocoon of my house, to meet people who may later come to join my circle of “simple love.” And once they are there, I need to love them, to think about how I can be God’s love in their lives. I’m not saying I’m great at any of that, but I have realized I need to try.

I know what you’re saying: “But it’s not the same!” Of course it’s not the same. Having a lot of people in your life who care about you isn’t the same as having one person who has given himself to you. Loving somebody else’s kids isn’t the same as loving your own kids. I get that. I feel that. I live that.

But God didn’t tell me it was the same. He didn’t tell me it was ideal. He told me it was sufficient. He told me it was enoughthat, if I would stop grasping for the one kind of love I didn’t have and instead look around at all of the love I did have, I would find that there is great joy and happiness to be found in that “simple love.”

Of course I still have difficult moments, and lonely moments, and moments when I see clearly that this arrangement may be sufficient, but it is hardly ideal. But thatthe gap between “sufficient” and “ideal”is something I can offer to Him. It is in those moments, turning to Him in prayer, that I see most clearly that nothing in this life is “ideal,” and that His is the only love that will ever fully satisfy.

I am not closed to the possibility that I may someday marry. Who knows what God has in store? But I do know that He gave me a great gift that day, when He shot down my silly notion that an unmarried life must be a “loveless” life, and opened my eyes to the love already surrounding me. He assured me that, when it comes to love, He will provide meand youwith our “daily bread.”

And he showed me that, for now, simple love is indeed sufficient.



  1. Michael L. May 12, 2015 Reply

    With age the desire for a mate declined for me. I’d be happy for a few good friends. I found as my single friends married, they were rarely available to do things anymore. Other friends died or moved away.
    Sadly if you aren’t married by a certain age, 50 plus, you will almost surely never marry. The reason we have so many singles today is back in the late 60s-70s, women were pushed to go for careers not marriage and family life. I see lots of never married singles in their 50s. This didn’t happen to earlier generations. You have to want marriage and close the deal early. After 30 almost everyone faces a tough dating market. With age it only gets worse esp. for women. Read Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb if you doubt me. While I am often lonely, I knew marriage was probably not in God’s plan for me.
    Raising children is an awesome duty, and having grown up with 5 siblings, I know how tough it can be.
    None of my siblings have encouraged me to marry or have children. For me I guess things worked out by default. I also notice early in life–teen years–I had no appeal to women whatsoever. That never changed over time, That made it even easier to remain single—no one out there had any desire to partner with me at any stage of my life. Again–maybe it was all for the best. I don’t worry about it now since I have cancer to deal with. This is the one time being with someone would help out a lot. I’m not alone, I’m just forgotten as are most older folks.

  2. Marian-1055781 November 5, 2014 Reply

    I agree with John single life is unnatural I am a single person myself single people are out of the loop the nature of human beings is To be together

  3. Maya-1039071 July 29, 2014 Reply

    Indeed simple love is sufficient, but would be very awesome if we have the right partner in life. 🙂

  4. Geetha-1115628 July 27, 2014 Reply

    They are all good looking

  5. Geetha-1115628 July 26, 2014 Reply

    I would like to meat some one from concord or pleasenthill.

  6. Geetha-1115628 July 26, 2014 Reply

    I enjoyed reading the comments

  7. Geetha-1115628 July 26, 2014 Reply

    I have been single all my life / I am looking for a long term relation . I do live with my Mom and take care of her she is 83 years old as you can see I am pretty lonely and long for a friend I teach in a preschool as a teachers aid I do enjoy the kids . my faith is what keep me going thru the day . I am hoping that I will meat a nice guy so I can be happy with the rest of the world yours Geetha.

  8. Mike-646924 July 23, 2014 Reply

    I have to say this: Most of us have been around other people; whether its family or friends; and you come solo (single) Thats including me; And they ask? Did ya meet anybody? etc. etc. it happens to most of us; I just say someday; It will happen God willing; Now Mary Beth which i fine a little puzzling to me; (maybe its me) But you write this article; What? about 2 weeks right before the BIG SINGLES Catholic Conference (in San diego) And you even sent out a invite for all to see; to come down to San diego: You seem to be a (very) intellegent Woman; But my opinion; The timing of this article; seems a little strange to me. Thats my opinion; (but maybe its me) Mike “Peace”!!

    • M.B. B. July 23, 2014 Reply

      I’m sorry, but I’m not following you at all, Mike. What is strange about the “timing”? I have been writing for Catholic Match every month for the past ten years. The video invitation wasn’t my idea — I did it because Catholic Match asked me to do it, to help promote the conference. But again, maybe I’m not so intelligent, because I don’t understand what you’re implying.

      • Mike-646924 July 24, 2014 Reply

        Hi There M.B.B. Ok what I’am implying about your article here; I know you write on CM I’am a member on here (on & Off) for about a Yr. (give or take) What i’am saying to you; After what you wrote above; You could have added (maybe) said; How ever (all that i said) something like; YES! I’am Looking forward to going to the BIG “Catholic Singles Conference” In San diego: Who know’s I might meet somebody there; And Maybe form a friedship/ relationship; Your article (part of it) sounds Negative; right before the Big converence in sandiego; Yeah therei is a different kinds of Love; But You have to seek the Love You want! Thats what i’am basically saying; What there; are going to be what? 400 (Give or take) Maybe you can meet somebody down in sandiego; and you wont have to write about this subject again; I hope for your sake. Mike “Peace”!! Ps: Your a intellegent woman You will figure it out. (for your self)

  9. John-1113599 July 22, 2014 Reply

    Well said, James.
    I appreciate your well-thought-out comment.

  10. Robert-514120 July 22, 2014 Reply

    I have a unique situation. I, too, am single, never married, no kids. It just never happened for me. I now live alone in the house I grew up in. My brother and sister have their own lives, so we don’t spend much time together holidays. Even then, the invite is like an afterthought, as it usually comes some 48-72 hours before the upcoming holiday. Thus, when it comes to either simple, or romantic love, I don’t get much of either.

  11. Phil-752169 July 22, 2014 Reply

    I just want to add that I have certainly felt all of the same pangs that Mary Beth describes in her article and experienced the full gamut of the struggles that confront the human heart when I was single. There were months and moments when I yearned for a bride and was defeated by hopelessness, and there were moments of great joy as I allowed The Lord to rekindle hope in my heart and remind me of his faithfulness.

    But there were also moments when I really began to enter in to my single life and see in it the possibility of great goodness and peace…perhaps even as a permanent vocation.

    The turning point for me was when, during this past winter, I finally released my grip on finding a spouse and was honest enough with God–and with myself–to receive my single life as a gift. I knew in my heart that I had never done this before, but that I had always kept for myself a few tiny crumbs of mistrust against God, whom I was convinced somewhere in my subconscious, didn’t really want to fulfill my desires or keep his promises. But this past winter, for the first time, it was different…I actually laid my hopes and dreams and plans down at his feet…and chose to trust that he really LOVED me and knew what he was doing. Not just in promising me a bride in and through the desires of my heart, but in giving me a single life to live, and not merely as a means to an end, but for its own sake.

    The amazing thing is that when I did this, He wasted no time bringing someone into my life. I actually resisted at first! But He is the author of our joy and has plans for us…for “hope and a future”…and he will NOT leave us unfulfilled!

    We were engaged this past weekend and will be married next year.

    So please take comfort in this, brothers and sisters: if The Lord has someone for you, He is NOT going to let you miss it! You really can rest securely in where you are and in what he is doing in your life right now.

    My bride-to-be and I cannot stop extolling The Lord for his perfect timing even though we both waited for years (much longer than we had “planned”) to get to this point. There is no way she or I would have been ready at any other time. Only The Lord knows why this is true. Certainly there were things in us that he wanted to do to prepare us for one another, but there were also years of GIFTS that he had wanted to give us–and, as we have been told countless times–to others through our season as single people. So what have we to regret or question? 😉

    Be at peace, my brothers and sisters! Your life–and your vocation–are firmly in the Lord’s hands, and he loves you more than His own life!

    Rest assured of my prayers and please pray for my future bride and I.

  12. Tom S. July 22, 2014 Reply

    I agree with John-221057.

  13. Bernard-2709 July 22, 2014 Reply

    Some stay single for selfish reasons.They like comfort,freedom,entertainment,fine things for themselves.Is this the Will of God? In Marriage or Religious life,you have to sacrifice,and give up your own pleasure.At least give Religious Life a thought! Listen to the Audio Sermons I posted; please!

  14. Bernard-2709 July 22, 2014 Reply

    How many ever consider the Religious Life of a Monk,or Nun.It’s not even talked about here on CM a Catholic Site! They used to have a Vocations Room for Priesthood and Religious life.I hardly ever encounter a Nun or Religious at Catholic Parishes.Even where they have the Old Latin Mass.Do many of you even consider the possability of a Vocation to the Priesthood or Religious Life?

    How to Discern Your Vocation
    No Vocation Crisis Just a Response Crisis

  15. Anne-893958 July 22, 2014 Reply

    oops that is it looks like I agree with James!
    John had the interesting views of suicide/singlehood/etc. For single women we live healthier and longer lives than when married! All depends on what research and articles ya read!!

  16. Anne-893958 July 22, 2014 Reply

    I have to side with John, I am single by choice – I love where I live, I have great friends, family, church, work. I could be married if I moved away from here. I moved here believing I would find the person to marry. I haven’t found him here, yet. There is so much I have here that fulfills my being, I choose to stay. And therefore I am single. Perhaps it will change but it is not a worry of mine, I am blessed beyond abundance. If being married were my first and foremost goal in life, I am certain it would happen. I see marriages that are less than ideal, why doubt what God has given me?

  17. Jason-184384 July 22, 2014 Reply

    John is definitely onto something. For most people, at some point, being unmarried is like living a half-life, a quasi-life, if they are being candid. A basic need is not being met and it is practically impossible to compartmentalize it into some minute part of your brain or heart and turn your attention to something else. I not only am single, I feel single every single (of course) day. And when someone who appears to be endowed with every blessing tells me to count mine, well, if I serve up a rant, they deserve it.

  18. Ann-69118 July 21, 2014 Reply

    Being single is hard. It’s just that simple. Most will continue to be single too. I find love and fullfillment by giving to others. I always hoped to find someone to share that gift with but it never materialized and honestly I just don’t care anymore the search to find that person just landed me a succession of people unable or unwilling or to immature to be in a relationship. I’m happy as long as I can give back to others and do the things I enjoy doing. It’ does’t make doing some of these things easy alone but along the way you have to come to some acceptence that you may never find a partner. While it’s ashame that many of us never will find a partner it’s also just a fact of life so it’s best to enjoy what we have while we have it.

  19. Patrick-341178 July 21, 2014 Reply

    I very much agree with this article. The reality is that if you are constantly bitter about being single, it is going to be that much harder to find someone special in your life. One response asked, “why would anyone choose to be single?” Well, you have a million times more free time to do things that just are not possible when you are married. You also get to develop your sense of self and I must admit, it is nice when I come home at night, to just be able to relax, watch tv, net surf, pray or read a book and then go and get a good night of sleep. Yes, finding that special someone who you really love more than life itself is likely the reason that most of us are on this site, but I will also say being single is a million times better than being stuck in a bad relationship or being stuck in a relationship with someone that you are are just not than into. We as singles should value our friendships and our family more than we do, then just living in a state of self pity.

  20. Maria-1022025 July 20, 2014 Reply

    James, I disagree with your statement about being single being a choice. Why would anyone chose to be single?? I think the idea that if you get up and move, change occupations, etc is a ridiculous solution to find someone to love. It makes me think, ok…so I am single in New Jersey, but let me leave all the people I love here and who love me, my career which I have been working extremely hard to advance in, and put myself in a precarious situation all for the sake of love…..let’s get real….

    This is life, not a fairytale.

    • James-1082060 July 21, 2014 Reply

      Maria, your words of disagreement are actually mimicking what I said. You do not want to give up what you have, you want something to fit in how you want it (ok, I’m positive you have room for compromise, but you get my meaning). This is exactly my point with respect to choosing to be single. You have prioritized things in your life, and that includes marriage. Change your priorities, change your chances of getting married. Keep everything the same, and you’ll likely get the same results tomorrow as you got yesterday. Changing or not is a choice, perhaps not one you feel you ought to have to make, but it is a choice.

      I used the word “reality”, which is very different from “fairytale”. What you are seeking may happen, but it is not your reality now. What you want to happen is actually akin to a fairytale. If you pray to God for it and it is what you truly need, then of course in God anything can happen (which is also why this site can work to change realities … matches here are more likely to involve prayer to God than secular sites). My suggestions on how to find marriage were not meant to be actionable recommendations on how you should go about remedying the problem, they were more exaggerated comments to make a point with respect to how Mary Beth stated the problem: “I have this single simple love and it’s not what I chose … I want something different but I guess single simple love is okay for now”. Your actions in life have resulted in you being here right now, and your actions (wanted or not, planned or not, they ARE YOURS) have resulted in the love you have. If you want something different by all means pray for it, but faith without works … well you know the rest.

      And people, a lot of people, do choose to remain single and to not get married. There is so much to life that God has put here for us beyond family. You do not need a husband to lead a holy and purposeful life. Granted you want one, and probably the majority of people you know have one, but since when do we lead our lives by what the majority choose? My purpose on this site is not to find a bride. My purpose is to read, write, think, talk and meet others in order decide whether there is someone here for me, or whether I should continue a very fruitful single life for the foreseeable future. I know my situation is different than yours, but this site is for a variety of people. My variety doesn’t mind being single, cherishes whatever love he has, and wants desperately to get in to heaven while helping others get there too.

  21. James-1082060 July 20, 2014 Reply

    This topic and the responses are what I see as typical on CM … identifying your own particular narrow view of life with God so that what YOU CHOOSE to think and do become God’s will. My apologies to Mary Beth, I know just by disagreeing with the opinion of a beloved writer here that I’ll court major flaming in the responses; however, you have chosen to strike up the discussion topic and I am just responding in good faith. In the blog post Mary Beth looks at her life and imagines what a future may possibly be and was not happy with it … but her present life was of her own making, her unhappiness does not appear to be with herself and with the choices she has made or is making. Her unhappiness is with what she doesn’t have but wants, with what she has but feels is not enough. It is with what lot in life God has given her.

    But that limited self-centered view is not reality, as God has given her the whole world and a population of 7 billion people to love. Out of the 1.2 billion Catholics is there not one that would meet the criteria for marriage? Or is it that the unwavering criteria involve location, nearness to family, ability to retire comfortably, cultural similarity, some other personally chosen restriction, etc., etc., etc. You can pick up and move, leave family and friends behind, start life in a new area, live a less secure life, and you would almost guarantee that you’d find someone to marry IF you based your choice of location, occupation, life-style around finding someone to spend your life with. But you/we don’t do this because we want our cake and we want to eat it too. We get to an advanced age where the foolishness of youth no longer works to hide what problems we’d encounter in our limited localized comfortable view of the world, so we grumble at the limited marriage pool and blame our annoyance on God’s plan for us. Or we complain that people never respond to emotes, or that this generation or that generation is too rude to return online communication.

    Being single is your choice, and if you are single it is no more “simple” a love than any other kind of love. You are still called upon to love God and your fellow man in the same way that married people are, and those are very difficult things for most people to do, whether married or single. Wanting more than that isn’t bad, it is good to aim your sites as high as you can or none of us would be on this site. But being married, while an opportunity for grace, is not the only avenue to receive God’s grace and likely not even the best one. That is what we should be seeking and spending our time fretting about; why is it I do not commit myself even more so to achieving heaven and helping others also achieve it?

    As far as a view that being single is unnatural, Our Savior was single. As were some of the greatest teachers and saints of the church. As were a number of the Old Testament prophets. As is every single Roman Catholic priest or nun. Are they all unnatural? And I am not just an animal, I am a child of God with a soul that sets me apart from the pure animal. I no more allow the animal/material nature of who I am to direct my marriage choices than I allow it to direct my personal hygiene or societal interaction choices. Again, placing your perception of how the world works above all and implying it is also God’s will only works if you are in direct communication with God … else-wise it’s still just your opinion no matter how vehemently you post that it is natural law.

  22. Thang-1077057 July 20, 2014 Reply

    Maria, I also know some happy single people and they are not at all depressed. My 91 year old grandfather is not depressed. One of my closest friends is also isn’t depressed, he has no interest with being with anyone. The single people you referred are not technically not single because they married to God, just as priests are one with Him. I agree with you, especially the part where humans are rational thinkers versus the animals’ instinct…innate vs in-birth. Plus, infertile couples are natural. They don’t have any control if they are or aren’t infertile.

    • Luz-1055440 July 22, 2014 Reply

      I agree. Being single is not “unnatural” by God’s plan, if it was unnatural there would not be places where there are slightly more women than men because that is how the birth rates have been for centuries. God would not design the human species unnaturally so that some humans lose their minds.
      I find the comparison of a pet chimpanzee to a single human person very denigrating, and I think it would affect negatively a person who sees themselves in such light, leading them in destructive pathways such as depression.
      Some human beings, such as St Paul, realized their singleness does not make them any less mentally healthy, worthy or virtuous, and have achieved great good and received great love.
      I pray for human beings who are depressed for not having something they want, be it a marriage or a Ferrari.
      Our fullness does not come from any material possession or human being, but from God.

    • Paul-1102399 July 23, 2014 Reply

      The people who ”love being single” are so few in number compared to the great majority, I believe they are just ”programmed” or ”wired” that way from the very beginning [just like gays and lesbians] or it could be that they are sooo selfish and self-centered in their ways, they are intolerant to making the necessary sacrifice to live in harmony with their spouse and try to work things out! … ever thought of that?
      To live a married life and having to raise kids the proper way, is a million times harder compared to living a single life!
      And may be the ‘singlers’ just gave up after getting sooo frustrated and deluded themselves into thinking that they have achieved ‘’nirvana’’ ?! ever thought of that, smarty-pants??
      And BTW, don’t forget what GOD did for Adam > He did not want him to stay ‘’single’’ all his life and so he gave him Eve, who later turned out to be… well, that is for another time!

      • James-1082060 July 23, 2014 Reply

        I admire your enthusiasm, which is the only reason why I’m replying to an obviously trolling and contentious post. First off, you can’t simply make things up and then post your opinion as facts to support your argument. In the United States, 53% of the people are married, while 27% are what we’d call single (the others are divorced, widowed or separated, and you can make a case for them to be in either main group … but let’s leave them aside for the moment). That’s not few in numbers but is somewhere around 60 million people. So it is a large issue in our society (a major impact on the family, if nothing else), and deserving of a bit more thought than “they are just programmed or wired that way from the very beginning”.

        I’m sure selfishness may be a cause for some to stay single, just as it’s a cause for some to get married, but it is likely not the main cause. From the granted small sampling of a few hundred profiles on this site that I’ve read, the main cause for a person being single is that they have set a standard that has been difficult to meet within their local population. Standards are a good thing, and are not an indication of selfishness. Standards help people avoid fatal flaws or conflicts in relationships. Your comfort in being able to work things out in the conflicts with a spouse are not shared by everyone, and those who would rather live a single holy life as opposed to a married holy but perpetually contentious life is a complete function of personality/ability.

        As far as which is a more difficult life, the only life I have to lead is my own. I have no idea how the difficulty of my life compares to others, and Christ even told us we should be more concerned with getting the plank out of our own eye before we became concerned with the stye in or brother’s eye. In reality it is not the difficulty of life that even matters, but it is the results that are important. Raising kids is tough, so is facing loneliness. Who really cares which is tougher, the important thing is which gets you in to heaven.

        As far as the “smarty pants” argument, I got nothin’ (smarty pants is a trump card I can’t refute).

        You’ve taken some liberty with Eve’s creation story (she was made as a suitable helper for Adam so that he would not be alone, and she was made “bone from my bone, flesh from my flesh” and is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife), which I guess means Adam wouldn’t be single. But no one disputes this, and it is why single people are here looking for someone else (this is not the CatholicPerpetualSingles site, after all). The point of the whole discussion was that everything outside of marriage is not just so much fluff, you’re not just killing time until the big show starts. It’s all your life, and it all counts. I do think others have added some fair concern that current singles not dismiss holy order vocations if marriage doesn’t look promising, and I’d echo that concern.

        I do have to say I’m unfamiliar with the part of Genesis that deals with the healthiness of men and women on different planets. But I’ll take it you were having some fun, and will leave things alone.

        Thanks Paul, I enjoyed the conversation.

  23. Maria-1022025 July 20, 2014 Reply

    As far as reproductive organs, there are people who are infertile, is that unnatural too?

  24. Maria-1022025 July 20, 2014 Reply

    Hi John,

    I disagree with you on your comments. The idea of being single is not unnatural, and the perspective we take on it varies from person to person. We do not know God’s will and there have been many people who live the single life and die happily. Just becomes one is single does not make them suicidal or depressed. You mention that it is not God’s will that anyone remain single, then how do you explain people like Mother Theresa or St. Dymphna or Saint Rose Lima?

    God’s will for them was that they remain single and perform God’s work. The difference between humans and animals is that we have been granted the gift of rational thought. So while we are animals, we are animals with rational thought. Whether or not we accept that single life is a possibility and how we handle that is based on our conscious thought. If you are negative and hate being single, then perhaps you have to look into why you dislike it so much. In many cases, there are people in this world who live single and enjoy their lives.. I know many. At the same time, if I dwelled on the negative aspects of being single, or if I did not love myself completely, then I could be depressed or angry or suicidal.

    However, I chose to believe and put faith that single or not, God has his will for me and if I am called to a life of being single performing his work, I completely accept that and am willing to live a happy life. So no, it is not unnatural to be single. It is more common than you think.

    • Paul-1102399 July 23, 2014 Reply

      You are using a few ”exceptions” like nuns and priests in comparison to billions people in this world who are married?!
      The people who ”love being single” are so few in number compared to the great majority, I believe they are just ”programmed” or ”wired” that way from the very beginning [just like gays and lesbians] or it could be that they are sooo selfish and self-centered in their ways, they are intolerant to making the sacrifice necessary to live in harmony with their spouse and try to work things out! … ever thought of that?

      And BTW, don’t forget what GOD did for Adam > He did not want him to stay ‘’single’’ all his life and so he gave him Eve, who later turned out to be… well, that is for another time!


  25. John-221057 July 20, 2014 Reply

    Thang, being single is unnatural. Research has shown that single people are far more likely to experience depression and commit suicide. It is not God’s will that anyone remain single, and nobody will convince me otherwise. We have our reproductive organs so that we can use them. Romantic love is a basic human need, as is sacrificing oneself to wife and kids. When this is absent from life, the result is emotional breakdown. It is no different than removing a chimpanzee from its natural habitat to raise it as a pet.

    Human beings are, in fact, animals. When you look at our scientific classification, our Kingdom is “Animalia.” We have something like 99% of the same DNA of a chimpanzee. Like the other great apes, we have social needs.

    • Elizabeth-1057606 July 23, 2014 Reply

      “For there are eunuchs, who were born so from their mother’s womb: and there are eunuchs, who were made so by men: and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven. He that can take, let him take it. ” Matt19:12

      Replacing ‘eunuchs’ with ‘those who are celibate’…Scripture informs us that celibacy comes in a triad of forms: ‘natural’, or from our mother’s womb, imposed, and chosen.

  26. Thang-1077057 July 20, 2014 Reply

    John, being single is not unnatural. We are not animals, but may be similar to them. You are right when you said that humans are sociable. It’s not in our DNA because if that was true, then it should be in our DNA that we are great communicators in writing and speaking, etc.
    Living a married life means to be sacrificial to your wife and children (if it is God’s will). I would rather have a mindset of love in marriage as a selfless husband rather than in lust as a selfish single person. Although not every single person is selfish. In other words, they are those who manage to do some good for some people through simple or sufficient love. I know that you should not have bitter and anger in your heart, but if they cause you to do something productive like praying for your spouse and changing yourself, then go for it.

  27. John-221057 July 20, 2014 Reply

    My main point is that single life is unnatural.

  28. John-221057 July 20, 2014 Reply

    The answer is yes. An important saying I heard recently is “A life lived alone is no life at all.”

    Human beings are designed for romantic love and companionship, it’s in our DNA. A person living single, unmarried, without a family is like a chimpanzee being taken away from other chimpanzees and raised among a human family. Eventually, they basically go crazy and become mentally unstable. This is because their social needs are not being met. They are meant to reproduce and love other chimpanzees.

    Like chimpanzees, humans are animals with very specific social needs which lead to disaster when they are not met. If you are single and unhappy when you see your friends and family getting married and having children, you have every right to be angry and bitter that you don’t have that too.

    • Luz-1055440 July 22, 2014 Reply

      There are some single, never married people in their elderly years who are not bitter, and some married or windowed or even divorced people who are very bitter. I think no one wants a bad marriage or to have disgrace in life, but it happens, as much as never marrying happens. However some people choose to quarrel with God and with their current state of affairs, for not being what they want, while on the road pushing away all love and happiness they could have. I pray for people in that situation, may God give them relief and may they open their heart to the goodness of God that no human being, including a spouse, can give,

  29. Cindy-959808 July 20, 2014 Reply

    Wonderful post, thank you!

  30. Michelle-989480 July 20, 2014 Reply

    Great post! T.Y., Mary Beth!

  31. Maria-1022025 July 20, 2014 Reply

    Finally! Thank you Mary Beth for this wonderful article.

    I have come to a point in my life where I too, have come to the realization that I may never get married. I am not closed to it, but at the same time I do not dwell on the fact that I am single. Like you, I have found that there are many other simple forms of love. I have a lot of love to give, and so I volunteer a lot and I focus on what makes me happy. I have a wonderful family, a great circle of people and friends, and well I have God’s love….

    • Paul-975508 July 20, 2014 Reply

      Hi Maria. I totally agree. However, I see my friends and cousins getting married and having kids. I guess I want that too. I guess I have to realize what I do have. I volunteer like you and have a wonderful family. However, I do feel that there is something missing in my life. I would love to meet you and share our feelings.

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