Photos Are For Superficial People!


Photos Tips for your Online Dating Profile

Okay, not really, but I bet the title got your attention!

When it comes to using an online dating website few things are more contentious than photos. As one who owns and works with an online dating service, I see many of the issues that arise when it comes to posting or emailing a photo. A lot of generalizations can be made when people are scrolling through photos for a potential date. Next time you are browsing profiles, here are some things to consider:

It’s What is on the Inside that Counts

The number one comment I hear from members about photos is “Why should it matter? It’s what is on the inside that is important.” While this statement is true, it is often used by people as an excuse for something they are self-conscious about. Sure, what’s inside matters most, but it’s not the only factor. While it is true that over the long haul, the importance of physical features in a relationship will decline, there is no discounting that it is a factor in the beginning of one.

God Created us as spiritual, intellectual, and physical beings Click To Tweet—which means all parts can and should be considered when discerning a potential spouse.

To merely speak about what is on the inside is an oversimplification of the issue—not unlike how some may superficially focus on the exterior of an individual, to the exclusion of all other factors. All single people should be striving for balance. There should be attraction at the physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. They may not always occur the same way for everyone, but they are the basis for what makes us the people we are. The photos you use on your online dating profile should accurately reflect your physical makeup.

Presenting a Complete Image of Yourself

To effectively take advantage of what an online dating website has to offer, choosing the correct photos is important. Cropping your head out of a group of friends, or cutting out your ex-significant other, is not the way to go. You need to present yourself as accurately as possible in your photos—as if the person viewing them was just introduced to you by a friend. This means at least some of your photos should represent all your physical features—including your face, height, body type, etc. Photos which show you doing activities also help present your physical side, and reflect part of your personality.

What Photos Should You Choose?

It is nice to have one or two head shots that you think represent you best. There is nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward, as though you were on a first date.

Show a couple photos of you with your family and friends. Photos with the people who are most important in your life reflect something about who you are.

Do something. I shake my head when I see a person upload all head shots, or all perfectly posed photos. Does that really represent you? Upload some photos of you “doing something” acting silly, serious, or competitive. If you don’t have any photos like this, make a point to get some the next time you are doing an activity you enjoy. And don’t be afraid to upload a few photos of you “lounging around.” Don’t worry if it’s not the best photo you ever took—none of us look our very best every single day.

Upload Clear Photos You Can Actually See

Nothing is more frustrating than looking through photos in a profile that are too small or blurry. With smartphones, digital cameras, high-resolution scanners, and state-of-the-art photo software, blurry or small photos shouldn’t be an issue.

Photo Do’s

  1. Upload clear photos.
  2. Upload photos where you are not off in the distance, unless you mean to show something other than you in the photo.
  3. Upload large sizes and let the website worry about cropping.
  4. If scanning, make sure to scan at a higher resolution.
  5. Ask a friend or family member for help, if you are not sure what you are doing.

Photo Don’ts

  1. Don’t upload tiny images or crop them to thumbnail size.
  2. Don’t upload blurry images (try clearing them up in a photo editing software).
  3. Don’t scan images and leave large amounts of white space. If this happens, ask for some help.
  4. Don’t scan multiple photos onto one image.
  5. Don’t upload a photo that is of years gone by (unless you note the age in the caption). It is tempting to show hair you once had or a waist line you wish you still had, but people respect honesty.

By following some of these simple tips, you can make your profile much more attractive, and better represent yourself as a whole person. Then, when you begin to have conversations with another person, the inside can really shine. Meeting someone face-to-face for the first time is usually a nervous experience, but properly representing your physical appearance through photos, and your personality through email, chats and phone calls, you lessen the likelihood of any unnecessary surprises during your real world meeting.

Most of all, it benefits no one (least of all you), to pretend to be somebody you really are not. Eventually it will catch up with you.

Besides, you should be proud of who God made you to be, and you should be considering a person who is right for you.



  1. Ador-1299586 April 9, 2017 Reply

    Photo is only superficial outlook but for me it is the inside of the person!

  2. Teresa-1318033 April 22, 2016 Reply

    Your sister is a wise woman, and her husband a lucky man.

  3. Terri-1150256 June 26, 2015 Reply

    Great Advice…but most the men Don’t follow it…their are photos that are few years old and they say oh I have not changed…or blurred…wearing sunglasses or hats or caps…Why bother putting a photo of all if it does not reflect what you look like now?
    I don’t respond to non photos profile and some if photos are a few years old.

  4. Chad-988613 June 24, 2015 Reply

    Brother Brian, thank you for your thoughts & perspective on posting pictures.

    Another perspective is as follows…
    My sister and her husband are celebrating 11 years of marriage this year. Their story is a story of faith in action. They met online and regarding her profile – did she post a picture? No. When I asked her about it, she related that she wanted a man of God to pursue her. She said she needed a man who “walked by faith and not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). Their marriage and four beautiful children are testimony of trust & God blessings.

    • Terri-1150256 June 26, 2015 Reply

      So Chad do you date women that don’t post photos on their profile?

  5. Brian-278516 June 24, 2015 Reply

    @Michael I must disagree with your comments especially the tone. People feel different about photos for all kinds of reasons. As you can see above Joe simply did not know how to do it. That being said forcing people to do things they are not ready to do can and will cut down on success for everyone. Sometimes people need a little time to warm to certain ideas and we know that has been the case many many times. While it is not true the no one has even met their spouse on Catholicmatch without a photo, I will say it is very rare. I would invite you to consider all profiles even those without photos and introduce yourself if you like what they have written. In the second or third email kindly ask if she would be willing to share some photos with you privately via email or by uploading them to CatholicMatch. If she is unwilling then that is probably a good time to move on. As I said in my article people are physical, spiritual and emotional beings and ALL are important.

    • Terri-1150256 June 26, 2015 Reply

      A grown man can’t follow simply instructions says a lot about their intelligence or lack of it…
      Men are vain if women find them attractive in general they are putting photos on their profile…

    • Teresa-1318033 April 22, 2016 Reply

      When people say “It’s the inside that counts”, they are completely accurate. And no, it does not mean they have something to hide. Women, in particular, are judged by appearance, and if a woman has a good intellect and depth, she is likely to grow weary of it. I personally only want someone interested in me for the right reasons. Not someone who is interested in something superficial. As long as someone does not disregard their health and is a good steward of their body, I could care less about their looks. When one person genuinely loves another, it is their heart, mind and soul that they love. That is what makes a person who they are, and that is what is eternal. That is what is made in the image of God. The body is an instrument. It withers and dies. It is not who we are. I want someone to love who I am.

  6. Michael-85720 June 24, 2015 Reply

    Good gravy! to anyone who doesn’t post photos! I’ve heard all the arguments, especially the one from women that they don’t want to be stalked!

    Neither is it just about degree of physical attractiveness or folks going only after the prettiest or handsomeness. It’s simply being able to relate to and bear in mind a face instead of a gray icon with some words behind it.

    There should be a requirement to post pics. I don’t view profiles without pics – it’s a waste of time. I wonder how many people have gotten married without pics – ZERO!

    And if you don’t know how, uh, I think you’re a little behind the times! Ask the nearest teen.

  7. Joe-1133984 June 23, 2015 Reply

    The reason why my profile doesn’t have photos isn’t because of the inside that counts argument, it’s because I don’t know how to add photos on a laptop computer.

  8. Jennifer-1199695 June 23, 2015 Reply

    Good advice! I usually upload current pictures of me, so when I meet someone face to face, there’s no surprises.

  9. James-981959 June 23, 2015 Reply

    Amen! It is refreshing to read this, I couldn’t agree more.

    And Vincent-767706, well played.

  10. Ann-69118 June 23, 2015 Reply

    People often look different then their photos to me so I agree with clear photos but think people should post lots of photos if possible to show what they like to do and where their interests are.

  11. Vincent-767706 June 23, 2015 Reply

    I only date disembodied spirits.

    • Jonathan-1179314 June 26, 2015 Reply

      No wonder I’m having such tough luck on the dating scene, I’ve been competing with you this whole time. ^_^

  12. Tom-432657 October 10, 2012 Reply

    It’s human nature that looks are the first thing we notice. There is nothing wrong with that. People with good profile photos get great responses from someone like me. God did create us spiritually, intellectually, and physically. So all three need to be balanced. Dating someone because he/she is good looking is ok as long as you want to get to know that person on the inside.

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