The Insanity Of This One Prayer Was What I Needed To Heal From Divorce

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If there’s one big lesson I learned during the years I was trying to recover from my divorce, it’s definitely that the world has a very different idea of how to heal those wounds than what will actually heal them.

I had been working hard to repair my life for several years and was having a lot of trouble trying to move past the pain. I had tried dating and at one point had gotten into a relationship because I had been told repeatedly that once I had someone new to focus on I would forget about the pain. But in the end, I only felt more hurt, and definitely did not experience any healing.

So to avoid insanity—you know, doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results—I decided to take a different approach and look at healing from a completely spiritual perspective. A friend of mine referred me to a priest, Father Peter, for spiritual direction, and wow, was I in for a surprise.

Each time we met, Father Peter gave me homework to complete before our next meeting. But, his request to complete my homework on one particular occasion brought everything to a screeching halt for me. He asked me to learn a specific prayer and pray it every day, but it was definitely a tough one to obey. Why in the world would he ask me to pray a ridiculous prayer like the Litany of Humility?

The world's way of healing from divorce is very different from God's way...and the world's way doesn't work.Click To Tweet

Wait… What?

The first time I read through the prayer, I thought it was a joke! I just couldn’t believe what I was reading.

From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me, Jesus…
From the desire of being loved, deliver me, Jesus…

This is supposed to be my prayer? Seriously?

Wait a minute…

This prayer was in direct contradiction to all the sage advice counselors and friends had given me over the years; advice that was supposed to help me feel better about myself, to help me regain my sense of self-esteem. After all, I was trying to heal from the single most devastating experience of my life–the betrayal and abandonment of my spouse.

From the fear of being despised, deliver me, Jesus…
From the fear of being forgotten, deliver me, Jesus…
From the fear of being wronged, deliver me, Jesus…

Hey, wait! I didn’t want to be more despised, more forgotten, and suffer more wrongs than I already had! I was beginning to think Father Peter was insane!

I was beginning to think Fr. Peter was crazy...I had already suffered enough!Click To Tweet

The Wisdom of the World Is Folly

“There’s someone better out there for you,” was something I heard often, and, “It’s time to reinvent yourself and go out there and get what you want in life” was advice given by a trusted confidant. My mind wandered back to one particular counselor I saw who told me, “You’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Stop being sad and go out and find someone who will treat you like the princess you are!”

No, something was wrong with this prayer. I need to repair my sense of worthiness, not pray that it be taken away!

Father Peter explained that in praying this prayer, I was not asking for those things to actually happen to me, but instead, I was letting go of two major obstacles that were standing in my way of healing: fear and disordered desires.

His explanation really opened my eyes to the truth.

Two obstacles were keeping me from healing after my divorce: fear and disordered desires. Click To Tweet

The Wrong Approach

I had been led to believe the right way to address the pain of being divorced was to indulge myself and focus on “me.” I had been convinced that through working to elevate my level of self-esteem in this manner, I would find the peace and healing I sought.

My heart had become cluttered with anger, resentment, a desire for retribution, and self-pity, so really, what sort of internal resources did I have to draw from? Feeding my ego might feel good in the moment, but the return on that investment was emptiness. I needed to find my self-worth in God, my creator. He would provide me with all the strength, healing and forgiveness I needed.

That made so much sense, I decided to give it a try. The first few times I prayed this powerful litany I was reluctant, but as I continued to pray it day after day, I actually began to get into it.

I realized that, at its root, humility holds the key to healing from hurt because humility is the basis of charity. I can’t really heal, unless I forgive. I can’t forgive, if I don’t have charity. When I’m hurt, I can’t find that charity I need to forgive unless I have humility. It is humility that nurtures the seed of charity and prompts me to forgive.

“Humility is to charity what the foundation is to a building” (Divine Intimacy, pg. 312)

If you struggle with finding healing now the way I struggled so many years ago, I encourage you to turn your focus inward—not outward—and pray the Litany of Humility each day. I believe you will witness an amazing transformation in your healing process.

Humility : Charity : : The Foundation : A BuildingClick To Tweet


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10 Comments

  1. Renee G. May 18, 2017 Reply

    Thank you for sharing this, I am going to start saying this prayer everyday.

  2. De Anna-1425460 May 9, 2017 Reply

    I will begin this too. Thank you

  3. Diane-1285292 May 3, 2017 Reply

    This prayer was a God send for me. It was the memorial prayer on my father’s funeral card. He had always said the first two lines but he paraphrased them: “Oh Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.” I had no idea there was a litany attached to it. It reminds me of the Prayer of St. Francis in that it calls us to act in the way Jesus did and to mirror His image. Thanks for sharing this marvelous prayer!

  4. Ronald-1353954 May 2, 2017 Reply

    Thanks for the great advice. Healing really must begin internally and then will manifest itself externally. For in the heart, Jesus is truly present and enthroned: comforting and healing as only He can do. He truly is “The Great Physician.” I remember an Easter prayer I heard and still pray today:

    Enthrone Him in your hearts,
    there let Him subdue,
    all that is not holy,
    all that is not true.

  5. Susan-1352152 April 30, 2017 Reply

    amen…..I ran into my ex fiance unexpectedly this weekend and many bad unfinished feelings are plaguing me again…….will try this for sure

  6. Leanne-387609 April 30, 2017 Reply

    I need to get back to praying this prayer. I am dealing with other hurts(not divorce), and this might help.

  7. Tammy-1417966 April 30, 2017 Reply

    Very powerful! thank you for sharing!

  8. Lucy-1409663 April 29, 2017 Reply

    Agree with the shared thoughts…..this is what is needed the Litany of Humility. I am going to start praying it.

  9. Juli-117132 April 29, 2017 Reply

    I’m going to start. This came across my path two times in the last 24 hours.

  10. Pat-5351 April 29, 2017 Reply

    I absolutely agree with all of this…the Litany of Humility is what we all need, not just to heal from divorce. A very powerful prayer when prayed daily.

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