He Hesitated With the First Message, But Not the Proposal


Have you ever written a message, but were too scared to hit the send button? You may be missing out on the love of your life!

When Joe saw that Stephanie had viewed his profile, he felt instantly intrigued by the beautiful soul revealed in her profile. Even so, for four days, Joe nervously wrote and then deleted several messages.

“Even with my decision to use CatholicMatch, I was still nervous about initiating a conversation,” shares Joe, then 27. Finally, on July 31st, 2013, he got up the nerve to send a brief message. It was the best decision of his life.

Stephanie, then 24, didn’t share Joe’s hesitancy. Immediately after receiving his message, she sent him back a much longer one. “I was just as taken aback by Joe’s profile—by our similarities and how much I liked him—as he was by mine.”

“When I got an email that Stephanie had messaged me back, my heart started to race,” says Joe. Encouraged by her positive message, Joe replied, and so began a longer string of messages. The following night, they had a “chat” date.

“Don’t make the mistakes I made. I never would have met my wife if she hadn’t broadened her search parameters to 50 miles because I was only focusing on closer proximities,” advises Joe, from Pennsylvania. And even after Stephanie found Joe’s profile, he almost gave into his natural shyness. “Take the leap, because had I given into that fear and hesitation, I don’t expect I’d be married today.”

Don't make the mistakes I made - take the leap, don't give into that fear and hesitation.Click To Tweet

He Met Her Mom on the First Date!Engagement

After Joe had gotten over his shyness, their relationship moved quickly. Most couples wait at least a few dates to meet each other families, but he met Stephanie’s mom on their very first date.

On August 10th, about a week after they started talking, Joe made the hour drive from his home in Allentown, Pennsylvania to Stephanie’s in Drums, Pennsylania. When they saw each other, they both instantly felt a connection.

Joe also took this opportunity to meet Stephanie’s mom. Though most guys might be scared off by meeting a parent on the first date, Joe wasn’t intimidated. After talking to Stephanie’s mom for half an hour, the couple left to talk by the lake and then out to dinner. During their long first date, Joe says there was never an awkward moment: “The conversation flowed so naturally, and the connection online was there full-force in person.”

The following weekend, Stephanie made the drive down to see Joe, and they went out to dinner with Joe’s parents and sister. “We noticed that each of us fit in very well with each other’s families, something which we both felt was critical,” shares Joe. Over the next six months, Joe and Stephanie talked on the phone every night and went out on numerous dates. Each time they were together, that bond they felt on the first date continued to deepen.

CatholicMatch was the perfect way for that bond to develop. “We are both on the shy side when it comes to social situations,” shares Joe. “Neither of us is the ‘meet someone in a bar’ type, and our outside-of-work social interactions are limited.”

First Comes Love…Wedding

Joe didn’t waste any time in making sure that he would spend the rest of his life with Stephanie. Six months since after their first date, he drove up to her house and, with her family’s blessing, proposed to her.

“I emphatically said “Yes!” and we began our preparations for marriage,” adds Stephanie.

Joe says that when he got engaged after only six months, there were some quizzical looks from friends, but he says with certainty that he doesn’t think there is a proper timeline for getting married or engaged. “It’s got to be what’s right for you and your partner.

If you know beyond a reasonable doubt that this person is a good match for you, and the feeling is mutual, you’re not doing it ‘wrong’ by proposing after a shorter-than-socially-prescribed time.”

Joe also adds that it seems like relationships on CatholicMatch have a “shorter first date to wedding timeline” because you already know so much about someone when you first meet them from reading their profile.

…Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes a Baby in a Baby Carriage!

Wedding On October 24, 2014, Joe’s parish priest married the couple during Mass at Stephanie’s parish. In the year and a half, the couple has been married, they say marriage has been a tremendous blessing for them both.

“We firmly believe that it happened through the work of God… We always agree that despite the uncertainty and doubt that we both experienced about ever finding a spouse earlier in our lives, we found one another at exactly the right time. Call it coincidence, call it fate, call it whatever you want—we believe it was God’s plan.”

They say their marriage has been successful because they remember that marriage is a three-person event: you, your spouse, and Jesus Christ. “We came to CatholicMatch for a reason: faith was already an important component of our life. Christ’s presence is significant in any relationship with anyone, but it is crucial to keep Jesus at the center of a marital relationship. My wife and I go to Mass together, pray together, and always try to thank God for what we’ve found in one another, and I know we both feel that offers daily strengthening of our marital bond.”

This summer, the couple will be welcoming their first child, a little girl.



  1. Stephanie-1368834 May 13, 2017 Reply

    Another pulchritudinous story. Congratulations and may God continue to bless you both. Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, pray for us!

  2. Deborah-1281509 May 13, 2017 Reply

    Not to sound negative about this couple, but I must say I am tired of reading these stories. If any of you read enough of these stories, you will notice that they all sound the same. Each couple has the story that one of them almost gave up spending any more time on this site, and then all of a sudden they meet “the one”. Very strange, almost all are the same. I am skeptical. Just an observation.

  3. Nick-1423791 May 12, 2017 Reply

    Sadly there are few members within even 100 miles of me. I’d be willing to date someone 300 miles away (still drivable at least a few times a month, meet halfway, etc) but I’m sure most people are scared of that.

    As far as first date to engagement timeline, I completely agree that it all depends on the couple. Some people date for 6 years. Some people are infinitely dating. But for those of us who are waiting until marriage for sexual expression, a long wait can be an unnecessary burden.

  4. Paul-91858 May 12, 2017 Reply

    Congratulations!!! Now if it could only turn out this way for me, I would REALLY jump for joy.

  5. Lucy-1409663 May 12, 2017 Reply

    Such an interesting story….with God at the center all things are possible. Congrats and may God continue to bless your family.

  6. Jim-1008684 May 12, 2017 Reply

    Congratulations, and best wishes, as you start your new family!

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