What You’ll Learn In A Chastity Book For Men


When I wrote my book, Chastity is For Lovers, I wrote it for both women and men.

However, its feminine cover (not my idea!) means it eludes a lot of dudes. But I want the world to know that chastity isn’t just for ladies.

So when my friend and fellow author Everett Fritz wrote a chastity book called Freedom: Battle Strategies for Conquering Temptation, I rejoiced.

That’s because the book is just for men.

But I—a woman—read it anyway. And I’m glad I did, because I learned that what you’ll learn in it is important. And you’ll learn a lot more than solely how and why to practice chastity.

You’ll learn that the world needs more men.

And by men, Fritz doesn’t mean males. There are already plenty. Instead, he means males who allow God to convert them into who He created them able to be: virtuous, responsible adults.

“It is clear that marriage is suffering a vocation crisis,” Fritz wrote. But “there are not enough real men faithfully living out the vocation to marriage, and there are not enough real men answering the call to the priesthood because there are simply not enough real men in the world, period.”

Fritz wrote Freedom in an effort to change that.

In it, you’ll also learn that love will require you to make a definitive decision.

In Freedom, Fritz explores the human tendency to commit to a man or women when it’s easy and to walk away when it isn’t.

But he reminds readers that love doesn’t inspire us to flounder—feelings do.

“Feelings are fleeting and the infatuation stage of a romance tends to serve as a sort of booster rocket that may launch a relationship of love into orbit, but burns out over time,” he wrote.

Feelings may launch a relationship into orbit, but they burn out over time. #FindABetterFuelSourceClick To Tweet

And if does, does that mean you should end your relationship? Not necessarily.

That’s because “love is fundamentally an act of the will: choosing to ‘will the good of another,’ even when you might not feel all that lovey-dovey toward her.”

Fritz wrote Freedom to equip men to make that choice.

In it, you’ll learn that God’s plans are better than you think they are.

Sometimes, we don’t get what (or who) we want. And when that happens, lots of us are likely to pout. But why doubt that what we’ll get in place of what we originally wanted won’t fulfill us?

“… it is crucial,” Fritz wrote, “that we drive out the lie that God wants less for us than we want for ourselves.”

He wrote it for people who pout because practicing chastity is hard. But it applies to lots of parts of our lives: when you like somebody who doesn’t like you back or when you interview for a job but don’t get an offer.

It’s okay to be disappointed when that happens. But it’s also okay to trust that what’s best for you actually will happen.

It's ok to be sad when something ends. But it's also ok to trust that what's best for you actually WILL happen!Click To Tweet

Freedom reminds readers that it will, because God’s got our holiness—and our happiness—in mind.

And in Freedom, you’ll also learn that your wife will be central to your life.

“If you are called to marriage,” Fritz wrote, “then there is a woman who will become central to your life’s mission.”

Even if you haven’t met her yet, it’s in her best interest—and yours—that you prepare for that, by expecting that your priorities will change when you plan to marry.

That her life and yours will merge, and little lives will emerge from it.

And that marriage and kids are going to disrupt your life, for good reason.

Because they’re designed to point you toward Christ.

And Freedom does that, too. Find out more about the book here.




  1. Patrick-341178 May 15, 2017 Reply

    More men need to answer the call to the priesthood. I agree with that. However, this is my take on men and marriage. Although, yes it is true, there are men out there that live in perpetual singleness and seem fine with that, I think that is the minority. I’ve been a member of catholic match for over a decade, with on and off as an active member. I have been single now for 3 months, after I finally met someone here that lead to a relationship, that lasted 10 months.

    This has generally what I have found. The non 7 for 7 women are not comfortable dating a 7 for 7 man. Perhaps, some women think they can change a man, but if they are unsuccessful, they move on. And then for the 7 for 7 ladies, for whatever reason, being a 7 for 7 man, doesn’t seem to score the kind of points with them that I think that it should. Other factors seem to be more important to most of these women, then a perfectly chaste man. Again, these are generalizations so I understand there are exceptions, so no need to tell me I am wrong. But this is what I have found both through my own experiences, but also talking to other men and seeing posts here on catholicmatch and other places online. So, what is a chaste man supposed to do?

  2. Michael-369664 May 15, 2017 Reply

    I like the post. too bad it’s a little late for lots of us out there. Since the 70s the dating world has undergone much upheaval. It’s very hard to find a dating ritual that leads to a great partner. Remember many people today grew up in broken families or divorced homes. It’s tough to find a role model for marriage if you never saw or lived in a healthy marriage situation. The Internet floods us with digital porn temptations, and men have been devalued in our culture for a long time. Now you want them to be either priests or husbands? It’s so easy to get a divorce, be promiscuous, and I’ve never seen religion factor into anyone’s decision for picking a spouse. I’m 61, chaste, and it didn’t help me out there in the dating world. Sorry I don’t think God picks your spouse–you must do your mate selection on your own. The mistake most people make is waiting too long to get the process moving. I quit dating 15 years ago. The prospect pool was dreadful, and
    dating was nothing but aggravation and continual disappointment. All I had left to pick from were losers and misfits of all faiths and no faiths.

  3. Stephanie-1368834 May 15, 2017 Reply

    It is reaffirming to know that there are chastity books for men and women. It’s all too prevalent today that the secular world is striving endlessly to make true Christian manhood and masculinity scarce in a world starving for men to be the leader, protector, and provider that God creates them to be. Whether you’re called to the religious vocation, the vocation of marriage, or even to remain single, each one of us is called to holiness, which includes the virtue of chastity. Living chastely can be challenging, and it is especially so in the 21st century. Chastity is not just about the way you dress. It also encompasses your whole life; your thoughts, words, and actions. Both men and women should practise chastity and be vigilant. When God’s timing is right, and He brings your future spouse into your life. Are we ready? Am I ready? I’m still learning and I continue praying; for me and my future husband, whoever you may be, wherever you may be. God bless.

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