Monica, 58, and John, 58, both unexpectedly lost their spouses in 2011. When Monica saw his profile on CatholicMatch, she was struck by how “amazingly similar” she and John were.
Monica messaged John and asked him if he had taken the personality test. “After taking the test, he emailed me back saying, ‘We’re one percent separated.’ We have almost exactly the same personality; we’re both almost 50/50 Choleric/Sanguine in temperament.”
Besides similar outgoing personalities, the two shared a number of coincidences. His name was John, and her late husband was named John. His wife's middle name was named Lynn, and that is also Monica’s middle name. Each of them have five siblings, and both graduated from high school and college in the same years. Lastly, their deceased spouses were both introverts.
John’s place of work was only 15 minutes from Monica’s home in Alexandria, Virginia. He had made a date with Monica in November of 2013 but canceled it. “He told me that he had been dating a lot and needed a break. He also wanted to spend Christmas with his daughters—he’s very family-centered.”
This might have been a risky move because Monica was on three other dating sites in addition to CatholicMatch. John, however, was the only one she was talking to on CatholicMatch.
Peace Offering
Weeks later, on January 3, 2014, Monica got another email from John saying, “I apologize for breaking the first date. If you will go out with me, I will take you any place you want. Price is no object.”
Monica chose a nice restaurant near her home and met him there. “I jokingly told him I would meet him because I needed my car—in case I needed to make a trip to the ladies room.”
However,
there was no need to duck out on John because she had a great time. John must have agreed; he asked Monica out for the following Saturday. Their second date lasted from 2:00 in the afternoon until midnight. “After that date, I was sure that this was going to be a long-term thing,” Monica recalls. “We have everything in common. We love all the fine arts: visual arts, theater, ballet, and opera. We also both love to travel.”
Besides all the things they had in common, Monica found John attractive because he’s very intelligent—and he has great eyes and a great smile. “I also liked him because he had loved his first wife, which I thought was a great quality. I wanted a man who was a widower and had a successful marriage. If he had that once, he could have it again.”
Monica and John each have two grown daughters from their first marriages. Their girls have been very supportive of their relationship. In fact, it was John’s youngest daughter who had recommended that he join CatholicMatch. Bridget had met her husband, Jonathon, on the site.
The $7.99 Rotisserie Chicken Proposal
John was adamant that he and Monica date a year. As the end of that year of dating approached, Monica was wondering when he was going to ask her to marry him. “We attended the opera at Lincoln Center, went to see the Rockets, and then we came back to Virginia and went out for New Year’s Eve. On all of these occasions, I was dressed to the nines including wearing stilettos, but he didn’t ask me to marry him.”
On January 2, 2014, Monica told John to come over for a stay-in date because she was too tired to go out. “I went to Safeway and picked up a baked chicken, put on my crummy clothes, and my hair up in a ponytail and he chooses then to propose over a $7.99 rotisserie chicken!”
On March 21, 2015, at 2:00 in the afternoon at St. Louis Catholic Church in Alexandria, Virginia, the couple professed their vows in front of 20 family members. "The Mass was perfect with gorgeous music featuring an organ, trumpet, and a superior cantor," she says. "I was very happy with the small wedding, and I think the priest Father Zuberbueler loved the lower pressure wedding. It was really fun to be with such a small group."
After the Mass, they enjoyed wedding cake and champagne on the patio in front of the church. In the evening, the couple went with their children for a dinner at a fancy French restaurant called L'Auberge Chez Francois in Great Falls, Virginia.
