For a while, Chris filtered out widows when looking for potential matches on CatholicMatch.com. “I was actually a little concerned about dating somebody widowed due to the anxiety of living in their late husband’s shoes. This was a huge concern for me, and I had actually filtered widowed ladies out for the first year,” he said.
But then, he received a message from one.
Fortunately, Chris decided to take a risk and suspend his rule. It was a providential decision that would lead him to “the right one” after a year of trying to find her.
The widow in question was Brenda, and her decision to reach out to Chris required that she, too, overcome some nerves—partly thanks to the “quick reflexes” of her daughter. Brenda and her daughter were reviewing the profiles of several gentlemen and worked together to compose a message to the top “candidate”—Chris. “I thought Chris seemed smart and was good looking and seemed like a kind caring Dad from the writeup and his pictures with his daughters,” Brenda said. So she and her daughter wrote a brief message that read: A sense of humor and a cup of coffee seems right up my alley!
Brenda was nervous to send it, so her daughter took the initiative and just clicked the button before Brenda could react (for which Brenda is grateful!). This was on September 13th in 2024.
The relationship kicked off with some enthusiastic texting back and forth, followed by the first video call nine days later on September 22nd.
Chris quickly saw in Brenda the qualities he’d been looking for.
“I wanted to find somebody that checked all seven of the faith-based boxes—no exceptions. Beyond that I wanted to find a kind woman who preferably had a family already,” he said. “I was looking for a kind woman, with a sense of humor that followed all the tenets of the Catholic faith. After we met, it was evident that she more than tolerated my humor, but actually appreciated it! I found her to be well balanced in life and down to earth and incredibly attractive in person and a wonderful communicator.”
That first in-person meeting occurred at the end of September at a coffee house halfway between their homes (they both lived in Virginia). It was supposed to be just a brief, 1-hour coffee date. Instead, it ballooned to two and a half hours as the couple relished one another’s company and their conversation ranged far and wide.
Through online and in-person interactions, Chris and Brenda realized they deeply enjoyed their conversations, even when they touched on difficult topics, like past marriages.
Chris had received an annulment of his first marriage prior to joining CatholicMatch. He chose the platform because he was “very focused on finding a good Catholic woman if I were to get married again. In fact, if I had failed to receive an annulment, I would not have gotten remarried.” He considered using one of the other Christian dating sites, but worried that they wouldn’t connect him with true, committed Catholic women.
Brenda’s husband had passed away from cancer at the age of 54 after 34 years of marriage. She and her first husband had met in high school and married young, raising 3 kids together. "He had told me many times to marry again as I was only 53 when he passed. Two years after his passing, I spoke with my kids and said I was thinking of beginning to date by trying CatholicMatch,” Brenda shared. “They were all very supportive and happy for me."
Brenda, too, chose CatholicMatch because she wanted to find a spouse who was fully committed to the faith. It took her only a couple of months to find him.
The initial in-person coffee date soon transformed into what Brenda described as “marathon dates”—4 or 5 events spread across the day: Mass, lunch, hike, drive, museum, dinner. In her words, these were all “different ways to see what type of person we each were.” Even these marathon dates just weren’t enough time to be together—the couple made it a point to connect at least once during the week in addition to the weekend date.
When they weren’t physically together, they stayed in touch through messages.
"It is fascinating when we looked back at our text history at both the quantity and the length of our texts,” Chris observed. “It felt like we were teenagers. It still feels like that."
“We were pretty inseparable at this point – just two weeks in,” Brenda added.
In mid-October, Chris asked Brenda to become “exclusive.” The relationship advanced rapidly, and as each sensed in the other an echo to his or her own heart, their bond deepened.
It didn’t take Chris long to make up his mind that he wanted to marry Brenda. But he also wanted to plan the perfect proposal, so he set about it carefully, working in some trickery to ensure it would be a surprise Brenda would remember fondly for the rest of her life.
First, he started to hint that a proposal might be coming the day before Valentine’s Day, February 13th, when his real intention was to propose sooner, on January 25th. To further enhance the surprise, Chris planned out an elaborate setup. With the help of the chaplain at Christendom College, where Brenda worked, he arranged to—seemingly by chance—visit the “Ladies’ Chapel” inside Christ the King Chapel on campus, which housed a painting of the betrothal of Joseph and Mary. He also found excuses to be a bit more dressed up than usual with arousing suspicion. Then, before the beautiful painting, he proposed to Brenda and she said yes. Chris’s daughter was hidden not far away, capturing photographs of the special moment. Afterward, the priest congratulated them and gave a blessing while more family members materialized to celebrate.
Chris has a talent for creative, romantic setups.
Not long after the proposal, he had to go on a 21-day trip to India. Because of the trip, he wasn’t able to be at Brenda’s side for Valentine’s Day, but he made up for it by planting secret notes for Brenda, all pre-hidden in her house and her daughter’s house, one for each day he would be absent. Every morning, he sent her a text from Nepal with a clue to the next note’s whereabouts.
Things progressed smoothly for Chris and Brenda, the only significant “challenges” being the 60 miles between them and their desire to be united in matrimony swiftly. They dated for only four months and were married by nine.
"While this did not seem like a long time – we both felt we knew each other well enough and that we were in synch on the big issues (kids, past marriages, finances, faith, living arrangements…),” Brenda commented. “And the rest would fall into place with prayer and careful, kind exploration over the months and years. We continued to see each other every chance we could and met each other’s kids and family members. It was like we were meant to be together."
The longed-for day arrive on May 26th, 2025...
Chris and Brenda were married at the beautiful Christ the King Chapel on Christendom College campus. The intimate ceremony included just family members and the priest. The couple felt blessed to have a priest they knew well offer them pre-nuptial instruction, witness their vows, and offer the nuptial Mass.
"The sacrament was very important to us both and knowing we were joined in marriage was so calming,” Brenda recalled. “I had two of my children walk me down the aisle and my other daughter was my maid of honor. One each of our daughters gave the toasts at the reception.”
The biggest highlight? “Marrying our forever person!"
The couple eventually moved to Front Royal, VA, where Brenda already owned a home. Chris loves this area and the decision has worked out well.
Brenda retired shortly after the wedding and Chris did the same in May of 2026, opening up more time for the couple to spend with their kids and grandkids.
Chris and Brenda’s family members, after adjusting to the fast timeline, fully embraced the marriage. "I would have to say other than Chris’ kindness one of the sweetest things to me is how much our three grandchildren have loved their new Papa! Their hearts were so open to him!” Brenda said. The couple feels they've grown closer to their adult children through the process.
Chris and Brenda agree that dating and marriage haven’t posed many significant challenges. They attribute this in part to their ability to communicate well and work little issues out before they become big ones. "Since we both have years of past relationships, we know that working through these little misunderstandings or issues is important so they don’t grow into something larger," Brenda said.
The greatest joys of married life are in the little things: rising each morning to enjoy breakfast and coffee together, remaining close through the various daily tasks, their lives interwoven even in the details, and ending the day in the same way—"but possibly shifting to a glass of something stronger," as Brenda wryly observed.
Faith remains the flame that warms their relationship.
Besides the quiet joy of shared daily routines, Brenda and Chris also love to attend Mass at different churches around the country and collect pictures of each one, from Seattle to Atlanta and beyond.
They began their journey searching for a companion who loved and practiced the faith. Now, that search has transformed into a shared journey with a shared compass: the faith by which they walk, hand in hand, toward the Lord.
