Paul, the 52-year-old post office manager in New York City had been a on-again, off-again churchgoer. Then tragedy struck. His wife died of cancer.
“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever been through, it’s just terrible,” he said.
Paul had just started coming back to regular Mass attendance when he heard of CatholicMatch. He made a renewed commitment to the sacraments, saw the CatholicMatch ad in the parish bulletin and decided to give it a chance.
The decision to try an online dating site represented another significant shift in Paul’s thinking, though it was one that had been evolving for some time. “I used to see it as something only desperate people did,” he recalled. But time and the changes in society’s dating patterns—as exemplified by several couples he knew that met online—persuaded him it was least worth a try.
Lourdes, 53, and also living in New York City, where she works as a nurse. She never married, but wasn't spared tragedy either. She immigrated from the Philippines at the age of 10 and experienced the loss of two family members. Lourdes also found solace in her faith, and like Paul, she found CatholicMatch through her parish bulletin.
In the fall of 2012, Paul found Lourdes online and sent her a “smile” emotigram, and they quickly moved to phone calls.
The connection they felt online translated in conversation and Paul and Lourdes were making plans to meet. Their first date was scheduled in October, a month after they first met. But Hurricane Sandy pounded the Atlantic Coast. It was close to Thanksgiving by the time they were able to have their first date.
“She was pretty, very personable, affectionate and sweet,” Paul said. “Very nice, very caring, as you would expect from a nurse.” Both of them freely talked about the pain they felt from their losses, and instead of the loss being a roadblock that held them back, it turned into a common bond that helped them forge a stronger and deeper connection with each other.
What’s more, Paul and Lourdes found much more in common—in fact, they have just about everything in common. “We have the same temperament and our personalities are very much the same,” he said. “We both enjoy traveling, and we’re both very active and enjoy exercising.” They frequently take long walks together and have taken several trips together. They’ve gone on a cruise, and recently made a visit to Canada to see relatives.
Perhaps their biggest common point—after their shared faith—is a deep commitment to their families. Paul is a New York City lifer, while Lourdes’ family also stayed in New York since immigrating. They each check in with the family frequently, and that involvement has further helped the relationship grow.
Paul and Lourdes are discerning the future together to see if a marriage proposal will be in the works. Whatever the future holds, both of them have been through a lot and come out stronger on the other side. And now they’ve shared their journey with each other.
