Caitlin, originally from Thurmont, MD, was initially drawn to CatholicMatch because she had grown tired of meeting people the traditional way and investing too much time just for the relationships to end. She finally decided to join CatholicMatch because she personally knew multiple couples who had met through the site and were happily married.
She was on CatholicMatch’s free version for about a month before she decided she needed to subscribe to really get the most out of it.
She then paid for a one year plan, went on one date, and chatted with a handful of men during that time, but they never went farther than that. She had less than a month left on her subscription when Michael messaged her!
For her, online dating had a stigma; the idea that you weren’t capable of meeting someone in the traditional way, and it took her a long time to get over that. Online dating in general can be really frustrating, she stated, because it is so hard to filter through the men who actually mean well. CatholicMatch does a lot of that for you if people take the time to actually fill out their profile, which unfortunately, not everyone does. She continued that “if you get as far as messaging with someone, half the time you have to do all the work to actually have a conversation. It can be very disheartening. Thankfully, Michael had put work into his profile and asked specific and meaningful questions to make that first impression.”
Michael, originally from Hampton, NJ, was initially drawn to CatholicMatch because he wanted to date and marry someone who was a practicing Catholic and finding someone around him seemed absurdly difficult given that he had a full-time job and there weren’t a lot of flourishing young adult groups near him. He was a member since the fall of 2023. He had gotten into one relationship that lasted about 4 months, and then after a short break, he started messaging people again. He found it frustrating to try to get women to respond to a message that I would send in the first place, and also found it frustrating that he didn’t know all of the particulars about online dating. Since he was new to dating in general, he didn’t know that he needed to ask a girl to be his girlfriend, and he didn’t know that you could talk to multiple women (so long as you aren’t in a relationship with any of them, obviously). He also found that scheduling multiple dates with different women just felt weird. He reached out first to Caitlin in early June of 2024 and asked if she often liked to ride ATVs since one of her photos was her on an ATV.
The pair communicated for two weeks before their first in-person date, which followed a first date video call over the CatholicMatch app.
It was supposed to be a short get-to-know-each -other thing that would last about an hour, but it ended up lasting 2 hours, 15 minutes, and 44 seconds. Caitlin was amazed that their first date had lasted so long, as she really hadn’t expected to be on the phone that long! Her roommate was around the apartment that day, so she had decided to take a drive and park somewhere in order to have some privacy while on this first date. The phone call was scheduled for 6:30, and the park where she decided to sit closed at sundown. She figured in mid-June that she had plenty of time, but nope! She had to move so they could close the park, even though she and Michael weren’t done yet.
Michael recalls that at the end of it, Caitlin told him something along the lines of “I think this is going to be something special” and boy, was she right! Caitlin recalled that she’s not much of a conversation artist, so the fact that they organically stayed on the phone that long had to have meant it was going to be something special!
For their first in-person date, Michael drove down from New Jersey to Maryland on a Saturday.
They had planned to go on a small hike together since they both liked hiking and it was a good, cheap first date. Caitlin stated that, in hindsight, she wouldn’t suggest anyone go on a hike in the woods with someone they’ve never met in person, but for them, it was a natural choice and they were on her home turf anyway. While they were hiking, they stopped at an overlook and prayed midday prayer.
After their really fun hike, they went back to her apartment, Caitlin gave Michael some Advil because he got a headache from either dehydration or the sun, and then they went and got Thai food in Frederick. They thought the Thai restaurant was really cool, and while they were there, they played a game on Caitlin’s phone where they asked each other questions about how they each would respond to different scenarios. When they left and Michael dropped her off at her apartment, they initially said goodbye, but then he turned around and asked her to be his girlfriend because the date went really well and he didn’t want to drag on messaging and calling when he knew he wanted her to be his girlfriend (especially since they were three hours away from each other). Caitlin was so pleasantly surprised and absolutely excited!
Michael was first attracted to Caitlin because, based on her online profile, she seemed like a practicing Catholic, and she was generally into the same kind of hobbies as him. The thing that he appreciates the most about her is how compassionate she is, how she listens to him, and loves him.
Caitlin was first attracted to Michael because of how fun loving he was. He was unafraid to be himself and was so passionate about what is good and true. She would say that is still one of the things she loves most about him: He is consistent in his aim towards Our Lord and allows everything he does to be oriented towards truth. Michael is so devoted to upholding the dignity of our faith and of others. When they were asked on their Engaged Encounter what attracts them most to each other, her response was his reverence.
The first time that Michael came to meet Caitlin’s family down in Maryland is a sweet story that she'll never forget.
He was planning on coming down on Saturday and staying into Sunday. Since she lived about 2 hours from her family, she was going to stay with her parents and he planned to stay in a hotel. She had decided to go down to her family the day before, because she knew her mom had a process for preparing for guests and she wanted to help her. Michael kept telling her that he really wanted to video call because it was national ice cream sandwich day, and he wanted them to eat ice cream sandwiches together. By the time he video called her, she and her mom were out running errands (probably picking up ice cream sandwiches). She didn’t answer and texted him to tell him they were still out and that she’d call him back in a bit. He texted back and told her to answer the phone. When she answered, the screen was showing her parents driveway! She couldn’t believe her eyes! Her mom was still in the store, but Caitlin had been outside because she was pumping gas. Michael decided to turn around to meet them where they were just around the corner. She was just catching her mom up on the surprise when he pulled into the parking lot. She couldn’t believe that he took a half day at work and did the drive just to be able to spend that much more time with her family. When they got back, her dad and brother were excitedly waiting to meet Michael upon his early arrival. While she and her mom finished preparing what they had planned, her brother offered Michael a playstation controller like they were long lost friends and Michael settled right in. Those ice cream sandwiches were extra sweet that day!
A story that sticks out to Michael was when he and Caitlin went mini golfing for the first time. He had driven down there in August and remembers just having a really good time when Caitlin burst out laughing so hard that she was having trouble breathing and fell to the ground at him crouching on the ground so that he could hit the golf ball into the hole like a pool ball. He also distinctly remembers it was really hot outside and the little course they took was very much in the sun, so they were both really hot and kept trying to look for shade. Outside of mini golf, he can’t remember a whole lot about the day, but he remembers that it was just a really nice time and that they had a ton of fun.
Michael had known three months in that he wanted to propose, but they both agreed no sooner than six months so they wouldn’t rush. So Michael, he recalled, “did what anyone would do and proposed exactly one day before 6 months.” He and her roommate had planned out the timing of the day - he was driving down to Maryland and was going to propose to her in front of a covered bridge (where she sat in the car and did the video call date). He got there on time and was hiding under the bridge in December. “In her beautiful fashion, she was late,” Michael recalled amusedly. Caitlin recalled that he and her roommate had planned it perfectly, except for the fact that in order to keep her unsuspecting, she couldn’t get her to rush, and she’s chronically late. For all she knew, she said, they were just headed to take Christmas photos of just the two of them with her dog. After 45 minutes of Michael hiding under the bridge, he was pretty frozen. So, it all happened very quick and they were back in the car so he could warm up. When she finally showed up, Michael came out from under the bridge and proposed to her as she turned around. He stated that it’s one of his favorite pictures, not only because it’s the proposal, but because Caitlin’s wearing a Target reindeer snuggie which is really funny to see!
The two then spent the day calling their loved ones, going to confession, and spending time in the chapel. They also found their way back to the Thai restaurant they loved so much from their first in-person date!
There were also a few challenges the pair had to overcome before their wedding.
For Michael, it was difficult when they were engaged and he was constantly working on the house that he had purchased. She couldn’t live with him yet (obviously), and trying to figure out what things she would want done with her future home was kind of difficult. Distance never actually seemed like a problem to him, at least not a big one. It actually provided a nice buffer for him to be able to calm down, reflect, and it helped both of them not to get too affectionate with each other. Another thing for him was talking about past sins, specifically about lust, and just opening up to her about his struggles and how much to share at what time. It’s hard to talk about those things, but being able to do that with her was such a blessing for him and really allowed their relationship to flourish.
For Caitlin, it took her most of their relationship before they were married to fully share and be at peace with the person that she was before she converted. She admits that she was very much on the wrong path before she found her faith, and allowing Michael to know and see some of those things for the sake of his discernment was very hard. But he listened and together. They praise the Lord for the new life she has found in faith. Second, she is still amazed at how different their relationship with money is. For her, money stress shapes every decision that she makes, but for him, money is simply a tool and it comes and it goes. She is so grateful for this difference. Third, right before Michael proposed, she had injured her back. She wasn’t able to work and traveling to see him got much harder. Through it all, he supported her and encouraged her to do as much as she could to stay on my feet. Fourth, and most important, shortly before she and Michael started dating, she found out that she was post-menopausal at 25 and will never have children (barring a miracle). This struggle rattled her identity and her worth. Michael, on the other hand, always reminded her that it didn’t affect her worth and reassured her that he was discerning marriage with her and not with having a child.
Their wedding took place on April 10th, 2026.
The highlight for Michael was when the wedding Mass was over. He was pretty stressed leading up to the actual ceremony, which was ironic as he didn’t really feel any stress leading up to that day, while Caitlin was stressed the entire week leading up to the day. When the ceremony was over and they were finally married, Michael recalled that there was just such a feeling of joy and freedom that everything else in the day could’ve gone completely wrong and he wouldn’t have cared in the absolute slightest because he knew he was married to the love of his life for the rest of his life.
Caitlin stated that one of the highlights of their wedding day for her was when they consecrated their marriage to the Blessed Mother. Michael had never seen it done before, and it was something that slipped their minds at the rehearsal the night before. Therefore, when Caitlin stood up to move towards the Marian Altar, he didn’t really know what they were doing next, so she led him over. As much as she loves to sing the Salve Regina, that moment was that much more precious because she felt that she received a glimpse of what it is like for our Blessed Mother when she leads us to her Son: gentle, joyful, and lifegiving.
The couple currently live in Oxford, NJ, in their new house with their new puppy! The highlights of married life for Michael have basically just been being able to live with Caitlin. The 3 hour drive and talking over the phone a lot is something he’s very glad to be done with. He loves her and is just really happy that they are able to be together and live their lives together. The hardest part has been finding out the little things that bug him that she does. Things like sometimes, she’ll leave paper towels around the house that she used and didn’t throw away, or when he goes to do laundry, she wants to use one kind of detergent rather than the cheap bottle of Arm and Hammer that he had been buying before they were married and living together.
Caitlin’s highlight of marriage is finally closing the distance!
She has been so beyond grateful to not be 3 hours away anymore. Instead of leaving him at the end of the day after a visit, she gets to come home to her loving husband every day. During their engagement, she realized that engagement is so hard because it resembles the tension of being a Christian living in the world. We know the ultimate end, and that it is so good, but we cannot attain it right now. This life is so bittersweet because we are participating in what the Lord has called us to, but we know that Eden is waiting for us. That tension was so hard for her, especially once Michael purchased the home that would be theirs together. She had to leave and drive 3 hours away to a home that no longer felt like home because she knew that her Eden was coming. She shed many tears over their engagement over this feeling, but this analogy brought her much consolation and peace. Now that she is on the other side, she could not be more grateful for waiting and the anticipation! She loves how sweet it is to be home each night.
A hard part for her is learning to live with someone. She's had many roommates in her day, and there is always a learning curve. It takes time and communication to blend your patterns and habits together, or to at least make sure they don’t clash. When they do clash is when it can be difficult. The one thing that comes to mind is that Michael likes to think that he is organized. To use his words: Michael has said “I am organized for me.” Moving all of her belongings and getting settled in has been a difficult ongoing process as she tries to blend their separate homes into one. He can work long hours, so it is especially hard when she doesn’t have his help deciding what to do with things or where to put them. It is also hard to part with some of her belongings as it becomes necessary.
To any current CatholicMatch users, Michael recommends that other men pay the money for the subscription.
You will soon find that not everyone you message responds, and for him, that was kind of disappointing, especially if they seemed to match everything he could ever want perfectly. But in reality, not everyone will respond to you. And a majority won’t. Of the people you do talk to, some are just responding out of courtesy, some you may get a date with, some may blow you off, etc. As an example, when he was talking with Caitlin on CatholicMatch, there were two other girls he had been talking to as well. The first woman he did a video date with and that same week, he did a video date with Caitlin and was able to easily see who he thought would be a better fit. The other woman he had been talking to he offered to go on a date with, and she seemed really nice, but ultimately, he liked Caitlin the most and asked her to be his girlfriend. Also, for women using the platform, his advice to them would be to just say they aren’t interested in the man and if they are worried about the man annoying them, they can block conversation with them. Leaving the man on unread or blandly keeping a useless conversation alive is worse for the guy than just telling him you’re not interested. Another piece of advice would be, if there aren’t a whole ton of people in your area, try long distance if you can. It’s not as bad as it may seem. He thinks 3 to 4 hours is probably the limit as to how far he would’ve driven, but if you love that person and you’re discerning marriage with them, then the distance, though annoying, will be fine.
Caitlin also has advice for both the men and the women.
First, Men: please take the time to fill out your profile. CatholicMatch gives you so many prompts to create a well rounded page. On CatholicMatch you are depending on the first impression! I can guarantee you that she is analyzing your profile before she responds to your first message, and if there isn’t any meat and potatoes in it, then she will perceive that you aren’t invested in finding your wife, or that you don’t have anything to say about yourself. Either way, you know that’s not the impression you want to give. Answer any of the questions that you have an applicable answer for and let the profile speak for you. Then, use the effort that the women have hopefully put into theirs to start a conversation. Start by asking them easy, lighthearted questions specific to them and learn how to keep a conversation. Some of her biggest frustrations would be when she would try to have a conversation with a man and it was always one word answers after starting the conversation with “how are you?” Once you have caught their attention with a question that shows you actually read some of their profile, you can build to more meaningful questions and conversations. Also, her favorite advice was to find a man who could fast. It shows a real sign of virtue, so if you don’t know how - learn! Now, women: Don’t be afraid of awkwardness! Men are out here doing their best to initiate conversation.
Online dating is awkward, so embrace it. But even more so, we are out here looking for a faithful husband, one who might not have had a chance to be in a relationship before, or just ended a season of discerning to be a monk, etc. She says that the awkward ones can be the ones worth knowing, so it is absolutely necessary that you give them a chance!
