It was a warm October morning in 2011.
Ann sat outside the Starbucks in suburban Illinois, waiting to meet Jeff. Since meeting on CatholicMatch two weeks earlier, they had exchanged a few messages and phone calls. Now they had decided to meet in person.
Ann recognized Jeff right away from his profile picture. He greeted her with a confident, strong handshake. “I told him that dating is very anxiety-inducing for me,” Ann said. With his warm manner, Jeff put her immediately at ease.
For the next two hours, they walked and talked about their previous marriages. Jeff had three adult children, two sons and one daughter. Ann had two sons. Both Ann and Jeff shared that neither had wanted their divorces.
As Ann described her divorce, Jeff said, “That must have been devastating for you.” Ann felt instantly comforted and understood.
“This is a person who really gets it,” she thought.
“I felt an immediate connection because of our similar stories,” Ann said. “Jeff was open, caring, and spoke lovingly of his role as a father.”
Ann had signed on to CatholicMatch a decade after the divorce. She was intrigued by a few other men’s profiles, but Jeff was the first person she contacted. “I liked his profile and his smile,” she said.
Jeff had been on the site for nearly a year. He was taken by Ann’s personality and smile. After their first meeting at the coffee shop, both knew right away that they wanted to see where this would lead.
Ann said the annulment process that they had both been through was healing and “It helped to address any residual feelings, whether regrets or disappointments,” she said.
“We were both married to people who wanted ‘out.’ The annulment process was long, but I see the benefits of reviewing the past in order to move forward fully healed of that pain."
Within a month, Ann and Jeff met one another’s adult children. “We feel proud that both were single parents and took that responsibility very seriously,” Ann shared. Their kids recognized and appreciated the sacrifices both had made in being committed to them and putting them first.
“His family was a priority for him and that’s what I was lacking in my first marriage,” Ann admitted.
She was impressed by the obvious affection Jeff’s children had for him. Ann and Jeff were both grateful that blending their families came easily.
Jeff is a basketball official and medical sales rep. Ann is a Catholic school teacher in the subjects of language arts, social studies, and religion. “I’m more of a reading and literature person, and he’s in the sports world,” Ann said.
But they found a connection in their mutual love of music. Sometimes over dinner, they talked about their favorite bands. Then they stood up and started dancing, whether it was a slow ballad or a rock anthem.
They also learned they had another odd mutual connection. Ann’s father was a high school teacher and had a physical education colleague. Years earlier, Jeff’s father had a heart attack at a local game. Ann’s father’s colleague performed CPR on Jeff’s father and saved his life. Ann and Jeff were both amused by this “small world” coincidence. But the past didn’t matter. Having found a kindred spirit in one another, Ann and Jeff decided to get married.
Even so, Ann admitted, the engagement was a total surprise for her.
“Jeff said he wanted to marry me, and I made him repeat it because I couldn’t hear or couldn’t believe what I was hearing!” she said.
With their five children in attendance, they married in May 2015. “Small wedding, big happiness!” Ann said. Their role models for marriage were the many loving couples who supported them on their journey together.
Ann said there were no huge obstacles to starting their new life together, beyond dealing with some financial issues.
“We both had financial problems” she shared. “Tackling that together was a relief. Our relationship was fun and loving from the start. We felt ‘at home’ with each other. We took our time and enjoyed each moment together.”
Ann said their favorite devotion together as a couple is praying before meals and calling to mind the people who need their prayers at that time. “We feel that God brought us together on our journey down ‘the broken road’ that led us straight to each other,” Ann said. “We hope that our grown children can use our example in their own future marriage plans.”
