Edith, a teacher from the Philippines, felt like she knew what she wanted out of life—and what kind of man she was looking for—and was ready to settle down. A close friend from the USA recommended that she join CatholicMatch.
In April of 2013, Edith, then 33, joined CatholicMatch and shortly afterward a Canadian named Michel, then 42, sent her a message. She was open to meeting someone from another country, so when Michel contacted her she wasn’t put off by the possibility of a long-distance relationship.
“The first time we met online, we laid down our cards. We were very open to one another. We discussed our backgrounds, past relationships, likes and dislikes,” she recalls.
They also bonded over the fact that they were both teachers and they both felt passionate about their Catholic faith. In July of that year, Michel flew to the Philippines to visit Edith. “That first meeting we both had butterflies in our stomach because we did not know what to expect, but after a few hours we got along well—not to mention that we both felt sparks the first time we met,” Edith says.
Over the next year, to keep the relationship going strong, the couple would Skype twice a day and email.
He Surprised Her
In July of 2014, Michel again flew out to see Edith to celebrate their one-year dating anniversary. “We were in the hotel, and he asked me what I want to do for our first-year anniversary as boyfriend an girlfriend. I told him, ‘I want to spend time with you and maybe eat out to celebrate.’ Then suddenly he asked the big question.”
Edith was stunned and at first didn’t respond. Michel had caught her completely off guard; she hadn’t anticipated that he would ask her that day. “I was crying when I said, ‘Yes!’”
Michel didn't have a ring yet, so they went to the nearest jewelry store so Edith could pick out one. He told her that he couldn’t wait to start a family with her.
Two Weddings
Edith and Michel had two weddings this year. On January 6, 2015, they had a civil ceremony first so that they could get a jump on the processing of Edith’s immigration documents. Michel returned to the Philippines for their church wedding held on May 2, 2015.
“It was a very special day for both of us because all our family, loved ones, and friends came to our church wedding. My husband's parents, cousin, and a good friend from Canada came to the Philippines to celebrate with us.”
For the church ceremony, Edith wore a beautiful, white, beaded dress handmade by her cousin.
For their honeymoon, they went on a road trip. Michel and his guests were able to spend three weeks in the Philippines. The couple hopes that Edith immigration will be settled soon and by next year the two of them will be living together in Canada.
The Pain of Separation
Michel and Edith have spent far more time apart than together and seeing him leave is always very painful for Edith.
“For the first few visits, I would cry for a week after he left. He would give me words of encouragement. He would say, ‘Always remember that the only thing that you do not have is the physical me, but you would always have my heart.”
Over the past two years, she has gotten more used to the leaving and the long periods of physical separation, though “there are times that I feel lonely and the longing.”
To help ease the loneliness, they Skype for long hours every day. “It helps that we talk about anything and everything under the sun. We never run out of things to discuss. Since we are both teachers, we understand our line of work. Sometimes he will joke, ‘I am your boss because I am the Vice-Principal and you are a teacher.’ I say, ‘Okay, you are the boss in school, but at home, I am the boss.’ In reality, we give and take and we listen to one another. When a decision should be made, we both decide on it. We ask each other's opinion.”
The couple thinks that there is also a romantic aspect of having a long-distance relationship because they always have the next visit to look forward to. “In God's perfect time we will be together forever. We both believe that it was God who put us together.”
Cultural Differences
Edith says that they do notice cultural differences that can upset the equilibrium of the relationship, but that they communicate well. “We always discuss things, and we see to it that we meet half way. We follow the give and take rule.”
One of the big cultural differences that she has noticed so far has to do with food. In the Philippines, every meal includes rice, but Michel isn’t used to eating so much rice and prefers potatoes. When he visits, Edith cooks him potatoes, but she thinks—hopes—in time he will like
rice too.
Ultimately, the couple says that for them being with a person from a different culture is exciting and that they enjoy learning from each other.
Long-Distance Relationship Advice
“A long distance relationship is really difficult. It takes a lot of patience, sacrifices, time and effort." To make their relationship work, they have to put a lot more time and effort compared to a normal relationship.
For example, because there is a 12-hour time difference, Michel wakes up early to Skype with Edith before going to work. In turn, Edith rushes home after work, so they can Skype before Michel leaves for work. Since they talk twice a day, Edith also gets up early to talk to Michel before she leaves for work.
Edith believes that trust and communication are the number one factors in a successful relationship. “Trust is very important because once it's broken, it will never be the same. What is the use of being together if two people do not trust one another? Do not let doubt get to you. When you have doubts, talk to one another.”
Lastly, she says every couple should remember the “three A’s”: affection, attention, and affirmation.
