This is a story not so much about relationships, but about healing.
I don't know if my reader is on Catholic Match for any other reason
other than as a sign from above. As I see it, most users are escaping
something; then, afterwards, seeing the faith of other Catholics, they
find hope. I was escaping from the sins of my past.
My story
starts with being strung along by an atheist ex-boyfriend two years
ago. I knew it. But I allowed it. Really, I was that confident that I
could "change" him, when it's actually God who changes hearts. There is
no having your cake and eating it too: you either choose God or you
choose the Devil. If you "begin with the end in mind" then you will
realize that arguing about petty grey areas means nothing in Eternity.
If you "begin with the end in mind" you will realize that the modern
world has dating and relationship advice all wrong. To make a long
story short, I recommend Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body as a
soothing balm to others who are in despair because of sins of the
flesh. And for those whose otherwise strong self-esteem has been dealt
a blow by such an impure, impossible relationship like mine, I
recommend Catholic Match, which pretty much helps you to realize that
Yes-- there is someone better and more deserving of a child of God like
you.
You see, as I was leaving the ex-boyfriend for good, he
plunged a poisoned dagger into my otherwise strong-willed spirit:
"You'll never find any one better than me!" My choleric pride was
shattered; my melancholic self-esteem barely survived. I felt like an
atheist, in that the thought of looking at my leperous soul with a
truthful, courageous eye would bring violent fits of wretching and
writhing. And so, it would have to be covered up and ignored. But sins
have a way of manifesting themselves; no one is immune.
Here's a
plot twist you wouldn't have expected: I'm a soldier. Fighting in
Afghanistan and having this wounded pride gore my spiritual wounds was
testing me to my spiritual limits. The fighting took a toll on me
physically. The sins of the past ate at my sleep and focus. I was in
despair. I wasn't about to kill myself, thank goodness. I just had an
itching to slash a particular guy's tires, that's all, if not a
particular guy's face. In the job that I do for the military, I have to
act; and when the job called for acting angry, guess who I thought of
to convince others I was stark-raving mad and homicidal?
So a
few months pass by and I get a hold of a good priest, good friends,
and returned to my Rosary (15 decades each day). I also signed up on
Catholic Match because I learned -- boy, did I learn!-- how important
it was to have a God-fearing Catholic man in my life. Once again, if
you begin with the end in mind, and your end happens to be Heaven
for all eternity, then you should plan to have a Catholic knight by
your side, correct?
(One month, I prayed so much for a Catholic
man that would help me to heal that soon I had a full day of signs
telling me to "quit calling the Heavenly Hotline, the request has been
heard, it's in the works, now would you please stop calling?!"
Storming heaven, indeed.).
Fast forward to March 2010. I've met
J. B. in person, who I met through Catholic Match and had been in
contact with for 6 months. He's cancelling his Catholic Match account.
So am I. He might be typing a similar story of healing as we speak. We
both know each other's hurts. And have proven wrong those controlling,
small-minded naysayers who claimed that we could never find anyone
better than them.
But it's not about revenge and self-esteem and
healed wounds anymore. We enjoy the Traditional Latin Mass together;
something I craved when I was with my ex. There is a certain peace and
wonderment I have toward this creature called a "Catholic man." You
know they're actually quite a beautiful, rare species of homo sapien!
Whatever
happens in this relationship, I know that I will walk away with a
greater faith, and a proper idea of my worth: I am a child of the
Strong, Just and Merciful, Loving God. I deserve no less than a child
of the Strong, Just and Merciful, Loving God to be my spouse. I deserve
no less than a spouse who will... begin with the end in mind.
Jordan's Story...
My life has been full of Ups and downs, especially with
relationships. I've dated good people but nothing fruitful. I know
it's because I was never in a God-centered relationship. I was going
through a horrible break up that left me a wreck, but the good thing
about it is God called me home. There was many struggles to fix my
spiritual life. I was lost. I knew that I needed someone to call a
Catholic friend or maybe even more.
So one day I saw CM on the
back for the Cathedrals flier. I figured I'd try it. What is it going
to hurt? I just wanted someone to go to Mass with at first. I met some
interesting people, some that helped me spiritually, one that actually
made my life worse. All while talking to one person far away, that I
really didn't know what to think of because I wasn't patient.
Then
one day She called and threw me totally off guard. Then that is about
the time that we started seriously chatting and my life took a 180. It
is just nice to be able to talk to a person like Her. The things she
has said have blown my mind. We have lots in common, more then I'd
ever hoped for. All the while I had been spiritually mended by the
Grace of God. It showed that there really are amazing people out there.
If You let God take care of it, it will always be good. Now that I
look back at everything that has happened in the last 6 months I had
been receiving little sings from God that had been pointing in Her
direction.
Then in March we met. It was a great time and it
really affirmed to Me that there are amazing people God is waiting to
introduce You too. Where the relationship goes? I'm not sure Yet, but
I hope for the best. Regardless I'm going to be happy for Her and I.
We all start off as rocks and God chisels Us into statues.
