The multipurpose room echoed with the quiet footsteps of people filtering in. The blue and white streamers hung from the ceiling fluttered from the February chill forcing its way, uninvited, to the party. The Pittsburgh weather must have taken the “Winter Social” flyers seriously. As the evening drew on, a few more guests filtered in, helping themselves to the potluck fare and mismatch of beers. Others left before the white elephant gift exchange. By the end of the evening, only a couple young adults were needed to tear down the festivities and put back the cafeteria for the grade school to use Monday. After weeks of planning, the social was over. Another thing to cross off the calendar ...
I tell this anecdote because it’s all too familiar with Catholic Millennials. The desperate attempt to grow a community in an ever dwindling, ever aging Catholic population.
It’s no surprise that Sunday Mass attendance is decreasing and growing older. Both factors are leading to more and more young adults leaving the church. But the few that remain behind, struggle to find authentic community and it overshadows their faith experience.
What is Community?
When asked, “How do you define community?” both younger and older generations answer differently.
Older generations might elicit images of Rotary club meetings, checkers in the park, or chewing the fat on the front porch. However, younger generations, particularly the millennial generation (of which I am a member), give a much more complicated answer.
And it’s precisely this answer that the church has struggled in recent years to adapt to.
I don’t have a solution to fix the community gap among Catholic millennials. I am sure there are thriving parishes in the U.S. with an active young adult community. But if you live in a parish like mine, we know all too well that there is a problem, and something must be done.
How do Millennials Define Community?
Millennials are plugged in and connected with the world 24/7. As anti-social as we appear on the outside, inside we care deeply about the world and those around us. However, archaic notions of community do not hold up, nor appear appealing to us in this digitally connected time.
I can’t give a precise answer on how millennials define community, but I believe there are four criteria Millennials use to analyze community: location, structure, convenience, and “the pitch.” Below, I offer my thoughts on each of these criteria, it is up to the church to do with them as she pleases.
Below, I offer my thoughts on each of these criteria, it is up to the Church to do with them as she pleases.
Location
Geographical location is no longer necessary to build strong communities. A lot of people I consider to be close friends are folks I initially met in the realm of social media.
In the early years of the internet, meeting someone online was found to be creepy. Distrust for this new technology ran rampant. However, nowadays social media is becoming just that, social!
The ability to be completely authentic for the world to see is what makes Snapchat the hottest growing social network to date.
The ability to pick and choose the community you want to associate with keeps Twitter a reputable network.
And the ability to reconnect with old friends has made Facebook one of the most popular sites in the world.
We don’t need to be in the same location anymore to commune.
So, what is one way parishes can integrate this new sense of community? Here is one idea:
Action Item: Parishes should embrace social media as a way to connect with their flock.
Structure
“Commitment” is not a typical word thrown around millennial circles. Forget about marriage, we shudder even committing to dinner with friends.
When applied to social events, the word “chill” is a word we do throw around. Laid back, casual, come-if-you-want are other words associated with social gatherings (RSVP is nearly extinct at this point).
The perceived structure of community is highly significant. If it involves commitment or becomes an obligation, millennials shy away.
Bazaars, church tours, fish fry's all sound like good ideas, but how many young people are actually showing up?
The early church used to gather in each others' homes. They might have been on to something.
Action Item: Hold informal gatherings. Let spontaneity guide the agenda (and the Holy Spirit, of course).
Convenience
It’s hard to please everyone. Some young folks like meeting up on weekends, others prefer a quiet weekend. Some like to meet right after work. Others later in the evening.
Finding a time and place that fits most folks’ preferences is a challenge.
Any type of community, whether it’s a Bible study, winter social, or on-tap event needs to be convenient to draw millennials away from their Netflix queue and into the mix.
Millennials are still looking for an authentic connection with other people, however, sometimes we settle for the convenience of entertainment instead.
Make us an offer we can’t refuse.
Action Item: Conduct a parish-wide survey to gain a better understanding of what works best for your flock.
“The Pitch”
Millennials are not as brand loyal as generations past, meaning we can sniff out a marketing scheme from a mile away.
Attempts to trick us into building community have the complete opposite intention. Community must grow organically.
Inviting people to bowling only to surprise them with an impromptu Bible study is unfair and likely to drive people away.
Be honest with your intentions to build community.
Action Item: Just be honest and authentic.
What is the Answer?
I’ve talked extensively on factors that tend to drive millennials away from community. But what can bring us together?
To be honest, I don’t have a complete answer. But I know it must first start with the simple fact that people are starving for a real, authentic, deep bond with other people.
The need is real, can we deliver a solution?
Declan Wilson is a writer, blogger, and podcaster. Find him at http://millennialtype.com/blog.
