Josefina was a 21-year-old university student from Ecuador who made a nightly habit of checking CatholicMatch to see who was new on the site. She was only seeking men up to age 25. After three months on the site, she changed her search parameters to include men who were 26. Michael, age 26 in Memphis, Tennessee, appeared.
It was January of 2008, and Josefina and Michael soon started communicating via online chat. “We chatted about our similar experiences, like loving and not being loved in return,” Josefina recalls. Soon, they exchanged emails and phone numbers.
Within 24 hours, they had their first phone conversation. Given the distance between them, the call only lasted about five minutes, but they shared a lot during that time. “We talked about our favorite music, movies, and weekend hobbies,” Josefina says.
Soon, they were racking up large phone bills between Ecuador and Tennessee.
During one early morning online chat, Josefina asked Michael if he had ever truly been in love. His response: “Is it okay if I tell you I’m in love now?”
Four months after being matched, Josefina flew to Memphis to finally meet Michael in person. They spotted each other at the airport. They hugged and Michael declared happily: “I found you.” Josefina and Michael enjoyed their first week together.
After returning to Ecuador, the months following were hard for both of them. “I was missing him so much,” she remembers.
They continued bonding online and over the phone. “He was the first person I called in the morning, and the last person I ‘kissed’ goodnight,” she says.
This was in the days before chatting on WhatsApp or FaceTime was common.
Instead, they exchanged letters the old fashioned way, through “snail mail.”
Josefina remembers: “He would call me every time he got a letter, and waited for me to be on the phone so we could open it ‘together.’”
In summer 2009, Michael visited Josefina in Ecuador. She visited Memphis again that Christmas and the following February. The only drawback was Michael’s night-time work schedule, which dampened the spirit of their visits a bit. It also forced them to work harder at communication. They did their best, including continued texts and email messages. At minimum, they were able to remind one another how much they were missed.
In late 2010, Josefina graduated from university and secured her paperwork to permanently move to the United States. Just before leaving, Michael called her with welcome news: his work schedule had been shifted to normal daytime hours.
In February 2011, Josefina arrived in Memphis so they could spend more time together. “It was hard leaving my family and friends in Ecuador,” Josefina admits. “But this was the chance I had been waiting for. It was just so special to spend time, have lunch, and see Michael every day.” She also enjoyed the hospitality of Tennesseans. “People are very warm and friendly, hugging you and calling you ‘sweetheart’ the whole time!’ she says.
Two weeks after moving to Memphis, Josefina was washing dishes one day when Michael surprised her with a visit.
He invited her to go to the back yard under the pretext of seeing a rabbit. Josefina was looking around the yard when she turned to see Michael on bended knee, holding a ring.
Five months later, in July 2011, they married in a small ceremony at the local cathedral. Josefina was happy to have some of her family attend from Ecuador. After communion, they left flowers at a statue of the Virgin Mary and prayed for children. Two years later, that prayer was answered. Their first baby was born in April 2014.
“The first pregnancy was high risk, including high blood pressure issues,” Michael recalls. “Our son was a preemie born at 34 weeks. After being discharged from the hospital, the first three months were rough.”
Two years later, baby number two came along. Their daughter was born in August 2016. The second pregnancy was not as risky, but still brought challenges. “Being pregnant with a toddler at home is a whole different ball game,” Michael says.
Despite the difficulties, Josefina and Michael’s mutual love and support helped them through. “I admit I am very impatient,” Josefina says, “and that was multiplied by 100 during my pregnancies. But Michael was there for me the whole time.”
Some nights, Michael cooked, cleaned, and handled other responsibilities while Josefina dealt with migraines. Other times, she would take over, encouraging him to go to bed early so he’d be ready for work early in the morning. They credit their success to working together as a team and not keeping score.
“Communication was key for us,” they share. “Sarcasm or subtle hints do not work!”
Both agree that having children has brought the best moments of their marriage. “Watching them grow and play with each other has been a blessing,” Josefina says. They also enjoy the companionship they share as a married couple. “It is great to come home from work and know that someone is here to listen to you and make your day go better,” Josefina says. Michael adds simply: “I love watching her smile every day."
Josefina and Michael are grateful for CatholicMatch bringing them together. And for Josefina, the dating site has become a family affair. Josefina's sister met her future spouse on CatholicMatch in 2013. She and her husband now live in Wisconsin.
Today, Josefina and Michael continue to raise their children while growing closer in their own relationship. Josefina is also adjusting to the differences in American culture. “I believe my biggest culture shock was the Christmas holidays,” Josefina shares. In Ecuador, Christmas starts on December 24 with a midnight dinner, followed by staying up late until the morning on December 25.
“Back home, it is a party,” she says. “Over here, it is a nice dinner and a family gathering.” The first few years of her new life in the U.S., Josefina missed the music, midnight dinner, and relleno de pavo (turkey stuffing) of her Ecuadorian Christmas celebrations. But she wouldn’t trade it for what she and Michael have found together. “After seven years, I know all that matters is that we are together as a family.”
