I (Jeannie) had reluctantly agreed to sign up for a singles website,
much to my mother's delight, in the summer. This incident shortly
followed the beautiful Catholic wedding of a childhood friend of mine,
and I was the maid of honor, so I saw the beauty of the sacrament quite
closely. Most of my friends told me that I was too picky and had
too many standards for the type of man I wanted to marry, and I began
to agree with them until I was part of this truly holy wedding.
After nearly ten years of dating guys who had psychological
dysfunctions, were emotionally and spiritually weak, unstable and
uncertain, etc - I realized that I simply could not settle for just any
man; no, I decided to take a leap of faith in prayer and say, "Lord,
send me the man whom You have chosen for me from the beginning."
That is when I joined Catholic Match.
Ben has a story similar to my own. He grew up in the southwestern
part of the country with solid morals and values, yet could not seem to
find a woman who had a sense of her own person. After many of his
own heartbreaks, he joined Catholic Match much sooner than I
had. Then he made his profile inactive after no luck. But
just about the time that I joined, he made his profile active again and
found me.
I have to admit, I wasn't honestly thinking I would meet my future
spouse online. It seemed so taboo - and even today, there are a
lot of people who are skeptical at the manner in which Ben and I met -
but I simply wanted to meet a decent man, to believe that love and
married life was truly what God had planned for my vocation. It
was so deeply ingrained in my heart that I could not give up on finding
love. Ben had the same spark in his own heart.
So we began to email each other. I had met a few other guys
online, but Ben definitely stood out to me right away. It was the
fact that he was so amazing at expressing himself in writing, so
clearly and concisely. I felt that I had known him for a long
time. We corresponded via email for about a week before we
decided to start talking on the phone. The first day Ben and I
spoke on the phone, we both knew. It was clear that God was
speaking to us, "This is who I have chosen for you." Suddenly
everything made sense, and Ben and I decided to pray about God's will
for our relationship and its progression.
Everything - virtually every last detail - has fallen
into place effortlessly. Ben and I know what is important to us
and what will make our marriage solid and lasting. Most
importantly, we are united in mind and heart by always seeking the will
of God above anything or anyone else. We have seen each other
twice and have made plans to spend a couple weeks together over Christmas,
plus a few other weekends before our June 30, 2007 wedding.
What can I tell anyone else but this? It is true that our life's
journey will take us to a meadow of joy when we surrender everything to
God and His perfect timing. I have to admit that planning a
wedding in and of itself is stressful, and adding the fact that Ben and
I are currently separated by 1400 miles doesn't help. But we know
what makes it worth every amount of sacrifice; we know what the
ultimate goal is and that we are following God's will and our heart's
deepest longings. God heard our prayers for all those years we
went through terrible, tumultuous, and oppressive relationships...all
along He was forming us for each other to bring us together at the
perfect time. This was a time that Ben and I had nearly given up,
and yet right before we did, we both reached out our hearts in hope and
faith to God, who took our hearts with His gentle hand and joined them
together.
What is my "advice" for singles still looking? Don't limit
yourself to anything. Not distance, not by being freaked out
about the Internet. Let nothing stand in the way of God's perfect
will for your life. He can - and does - use any means to get you
where He has desired for you to be from the beginning of your creation,
but only when you surrender and abandon yourself to His will rather
than your own. What helped me? My spiritual director
instructed me to write down a list of every single quality I wanted my
future husband to have, and I came up with eighty specific things (what he
looked like, how tall, that he wanted a dog as a pet, loved the
outdoors, etc). I told her, "This man doesn't exist." She
smiled at me knowingly and said, "Oh yes he does. God already
knows what your heart desires. All you have to do now is pray
that He will bring this man into your life." And truly, that is
all it took, because over time I have discovered that Ben has not only
all of the qualities I listed but more than I ever dreamed of!
Ben and I are so grateful for this website, because if it weren't
for Catholic Match, we may have never found each other. We both
feel very strongly that God used this website as a vehicle for us to
meet and begin planning our lives together. We pray for God's
blessings to all still searching, and we know that finding "the one" is
often a challenge for the heart - but all it takes is a leap of faith
to make it happen for you.
