Natural Family Planning. (Dun dun dunnnnnn!) It might sound thrilling. It might spark groans. It is certainly controversial in today’s world...
So, what should you, a good Catholic single, know about it?!
What Is Natural Family Planning?
Natural family planning (NFP) is essentially fertility awareness for married couples. In a nutshell, all methods of NFP track how a woman’s body functions throughout an ovulatory cycle, identifying her windows of fertility and infertility.
With this knowledge, married couples can either optimize or minimize their chances of conceiving a child, depending on when during this cycle they choose to be sexually intimate. There are several different methods of NFP, and more are being developed as fertility awareness becomes more popular in mainstream culture. NFP is completely natural, highly effective, and safe for everyone to learn. Most pre-Cana marriage prep courses require an engaged couple to take an NFP class, both for practical reasons of planning for children, and to give the couple a foundation of the sacredness and theological importance of sexual intimacy
Why is NFP allowed in the Catholic Church?
NFP is the only family planning method that is approved by the Catholic Church.
Why?
I’ve heard it summarized that NFP doesn’t separate life from love. Let me expound on that a bit. NFP works with God’s design of both a woman’s individual body as well as a married couple’s call to fecundity (a.k.a. openness to life). Its day-to-day practice relies on scientific awareness of a female hormonal cycle, and it equally relies on a couple’s faith to discern their transmission of life. Couples, therefore, must grow in prudence and temperance through prayerful discernment, self-control, and communication.
See?
With NFP, a couple can effectively plan their family, and at the same time, truly love each other without separating that love from potentially creating life. Unlike hormonal or implanted birth control, NFP is not an abortifacient, meaning that it doesn’t kill a baby already conceived, nor does it artificially block conception, as all other forms of birth control do. Any artificial form of birth control separates our sexual love from giving life, which is why Catholicism rejects it. NFP follows God’s natural design of both physical and spiritual love together. It achieves both a true openness to life and a highly effective system of planning children. Isn’t that amazing?!
But isn’t NFP hard?
Yes, practicing NFP can be hard. I also like to remind singles: marriage is hard. Being single is hard. Life is hard!
Catholic singles called to marriage will face many, many hard things in their vocation journey. The best things in life take an enormous amount of sacrifice. And isn’t that kind of the point? Marriage is meant to refine and sanctify us; to make us holier. Sexual intimacy in marriage is an incredible gift, and it comes with a deep responsibility to value each other and the transmission of life properly. That can be hard. It is also incredibly fulfilling.
If you want a truly sacred, Catholic marriage, you are called to take up the responsibility it asks of you. Learning NFP is one of the best ways to do that. On the flip side, if you feel conflicted, angry, or resentful about using NFP in your future, I encourage you to take some time away from dating. That feeling is probably God inviting you to dive deeper into your faith, and learn about His plans for you.
Perhaps you need to pray about your call to marriage, reflect on what you’re expecting in this future vocation, or do some research on what Catholic marriage entails. Talk to some priests and faithful married couples. Chase that feeling until your questions are answered. You won’t regret it.
Should you learn NFP now? Or only when you’re married?
Most pre-Cana programs require couples to take an NFP class. This is not to dissuade couples from having children right away. Moreso, it’s to ensure married couples understand the sacredness of marital union, and are equipped to handle that responsibility.
Because NFP can be used to both postpone a pregnancy or achieve one, the Church trusts married couples to discern wisely for their own individual family, and makes sure they have the right tools for it.
That said, there is no reason a single woman can’t start tracking her cycle and learning how her body works. (Gentlemen, yes, you can totally learn about female hormonal cycles, too–but the practical application will have to wait until after your wedding vows!) Fertility tracking offers other benefits like evaluating hormone levels, spotting potential health issues, or identifying concerning changes. I even know of some convents that encourage nuns to track their own cycles for these reasons! The menstrual cycle for women is often called the fifth vital sign for good reason.
What if you don’t want to use NFP at all in your marriage?
Just because you have a tool in your toolbox, doesn’t mean you have to use it.
A married couple can absolutely decide they don’t want to track their fertility, preferring to leave everything up to God's Providence. That’s fine!
However: don’t use this as an excuse to throw prudence and wisdom out the window. Why? One of the great challenges of marriage is unpredictability. What works today might not work tomorrow. Health crises hit, and all of a sudden, postponing a pregnancy can become a life-and-death matter. Accidents happen, or financial need crops up, or existing children require all of your resources. Suffice it to say: for everything there is a season. We cannot see what struggles might lie ahead. This is why the Church in her wisdom advocates learning NFP prior to marriage. Then, when you need to use it, you already know how.
Where should I get started with learning NFP?
There are SO many more topics to discuss on NFP. And rightly so! Check out these links to learn more:
The Curious Single’s Guide to Natural Family Planning: Part 1 (The basics right here on CatholicMatch!)
The Curious Single’s Guide To Natural Family Planning: Part 2 (NFP frequently asked questions)
Stace Summereau’s NFP YouTube videos (Theology and lived examples from a Catholic mother)
Cycles and Spirituality (Catholic fertility awareness book for single women) Couple To Couple League (Catholic fertility awareness classes for couples)
