Are you nervous to date online? Not sure how to keep dating fun?
I did many things to make online dating work for me as a single woman. Some of them worked, and I kept doing them. Some, I threw away. Here are six of the ones I kept that could work for you!
- Keep the date-cute, not the meet-cute
Some people who are searching for their spouse struggle with dating the modern way: online dating. I have heard the arguments of “I want to meet the traditional way”, “That’s not how my parents met”, or “I want a meet-cute”. When starting to date online, I felt like there was judgment from others because I chose to meet people online instead.
I am here to tell you that meet-cutes are a myth.
Not the fact that they cannot happen in real life; they can-on occasion. The myth is that you can ONLY meet your spouse in this way. Meet-cutes do not determine whether the person you are dating is the one. I met my husband online in a non-meet-cute way, and he was undoubtedly the one for me.
You shouldn’t base your future hopes of marriage solely on how you meet people. Online dating opens up ways to meet new people you never would have met when dating the “traditional” way. Your soulmate may not conveniently live in the same town as you. If you are invested in marriage, you must be invested in finding your spouse no matter where they are.
Plus, if you are worried about the question “How did you meet?”, telling the tale of your first date is just as fun! Have a date-cute!
- Keep a balanced life
It is important to have a balanced life outside of dating online or dating traditionally. Not all of your free time should be spent going on rapid-fire dates. Take time to enjoy your hobbies, visit your family and friends, and do other things that you enjoy.
Dating is part of your life, not the entirety of it.
In addition to going on dates when I was single, I spent a lot of time recording songs, going out to eat with friends, hiking, and visiting family. My now-husband continued to play sports and hang out with his friends while we were dating.
So have fun exploring your passions! Go to that concert; write your novel! Future dates and possible spouses will find your well-rounded life attractive.
- Keep going on first dates
On the flip side, first dates shouldn't be a rare occurrence. A balanced life means enjoying your own time and dates as well!
A huge positive of dating online is meeting a multitude of new people!
In traditional dating, you are limited by distance. Dating online makes going on more first dates possible!
Frequent first dates are a great way to get comfortable with the whole idea of dating, which can feel awkward at first. It also helps you develop your own views and expectations of what you are looking for in a spouse. You can see in real time what personalities you connect best with.
When I was single and not using CatholicMatch, I did not meet many men I was interested in. After joining CatholicMatch, I had far more video chats, phone calls, and dates. I went on countless first dates, which helped me figure out exactly the type of man I was looking for.
For example, I learned that I did not connect as much with deeply intellectual thinkers, but I really enjoyed gentlemen who were funny and led an active lifestyle.
Perhaps you enjoy a quiet date where you talk about your shared love of books. Maybe you want to go skiing with a fellow adventurer. You won’t truly know until you’ve had some different date experiences and talked to various types of people. That’s where first dates come in handy!
- Keep high but realistic expectations
When online dating, I kept very high expectations that were also realistic.
I expected my dates to be gentlemanly. However, I did not expect them to be Prince Charming.
For example, I expected dates to open doors for me and listen to what I was saying. I did not expect them to bring me flowers, chocolates, and take me on expensive dates all the time.
You should have certain expectations of how to be treated and what type of person you are looking for. That's a good thing! Just make sure you aren't demanding something that doesn't exist or isn't fair.
- Keep safe
It's extremely important to stay safe when dating online. You never know for sure who you are talking to until you meet in person.
Take precautions to keep yourself safe when meeting new people.
One way I kept myself safe was I never met first dates in my hometown. I would always drive to nearby towns in the area for meet ups. I also made sure someone (sister, friend, etc.) knew where I was going and when. They could then check up on me after the date. This is a great way to stay safe and also share some tea from your date!
Always make sure you feel safe and trust your gut. It is okay to leave a date if you feel unsafe.
- Keep it fun!
Finally, keep dating fun! Sometimes being single can feel like a curse and dating is the cure. If you feel like this, take a step back. Maybe even take a short break from dating. It's supposed to be a fun and interesting way to spend free time, not a second job.
To help keep the fun alive when I was single, I liked trying different locations and venues on each first date. Rather than feeling like I was doing the same date over and over with different people, it felt like a new experience each time I went somewhere different.
Other ways to keep having fun can reflect what you are passionate about. Like taking photos? Update your profile pictures! Are you a writer? Change up your profile statement. Enjoy trivia and random questions? Brainstorm new icebreakers.
Put whatever makes you smile into your dating life.
Trust me, it's way more fun that way!
You now have six things to keep doing when online dating. Go brush off those dating shoes!
Look out, world!
