Does he like me, or is he just being friendly?
Ladies, we've all had these questions. We've all played detective, trying to read a date's behavior and deduce what they're feeling. But we're not Sherlock Holmes!
Good news: you don't have to be! Here are 8 easy ways to really tell if a guy really likes you.
If he asks you out…
Sometimes it's as simple as letting him take the lead. Instead of asking him out right away, pause for a minute. Let him know you are interested without actually doing the asking. Hint at a new restaurant you've been wanting to try. There's no harm in being a little mysterious and flirty.
I have never asked any man on a date for this very reason. If he liked me, I knew he'd be brave enough to ask me out. I would then feel more secure knowing he was interested. That is the feminine role after all!
You don't have to take it that far if you are not comfortable with it. But remember, guys WANT to chase girls. So let them! It's a surefire way to tell if he's really interested.
This does not mean you should play hard to get. Allowing guys to make their move first is very different.
If he remembers what you say…
When a guy likes you, he will remember little things about your conversations. You might even forget you mentioned these things! It may take a little more time to tell if he's interested this way, since he may not mention your conversation until after the next few calls or dates. But if he does bring up your favorite movie you mentioned, or a hobby you love, you'll know he was listening! And that he likes you!
When I was first talking to my now-husband, he remembered from one of our first phone calls that I am a big Packers fan. He even planned a date for us to go to their stadium and watch a game! This leads us to the next way to tell if he likes you.
If he shows effort…
If a man is putting in effort, then he likes you! If he puts in effort to do things you enjoy, he definitely likes you! A guy who likes you will make an effort to make things special for you.
My now-husband planned every single one of our dates. He made sure to take my interests into account as well, so many dates had active aspects like hiking. He even took me axe throwing once or twice!
This could also look like him driving to pick you up even if your house is out of the way. He may put a lot of effort into creating interesting text messages, or plan video chat dates. If he does this, he likes you for sure!
If he asks questions…
Guys who aren't interested typically don't ask good questions. They don't try to get to know you. The conversation may have several awkward pauses or you may feel like you are the only one asking questions. If that's the case, he's not interested.
A man who likes you will ask questions, and remember most of your answers. He wants to know more about you!
Remember, because dating itself is slightly awkward, that doesn't mean there won't be awkward pauses. Sometimes the guy is nervous and forgets what to ask. Try to read the situation if that is the case. He could be interested but just feels nervous. But there should be fewer pauses in general if he likes you, and you shouldn't feel like you are carrying the entire conversation.
If he makes time…
An intrigued man will make the time to talk to you. An uninterested guy says, “I'm too busy.” An interested man says, “I'm not free that day; how about next week?” He may have a busy schedule, but he will make time for what's important to him. So, if he's making time for you, you are important to him!
My now-husband was a teacher who lived 10 hours away from me. He could have easily told me he was too busy to drive up for a date. Instead, he made the time in order to meet and date me. Guys will do a lot to get their girl!
If he's protective…
A smitten man is protective of his lady. Protectiveness shows that he values you and wants to keep you safe. You are important to him.
My now-husband always walks on the outside of the sidewalk, so he is between me and the road. This is a subtle yet strong reminder that he is constantly thinking of my safety and comfort.
It's important not to confuse protectiveness with controlling actions. If he's wanting you to avoid talking to any other people in the room, that's controlling. If he makes sure to move you away from or stand between you and an individual who seems like a possible danger, that's protective.
If he introduces you…
He is definitely interested in you if he introduces you to his family and/or friends. He wants to show you off and have others meet you because you are important to him! If you are meeting friends and family, that means he doesn't see you as a short-term relationship. He's hoping you'll be in his lifelong term.
I may have sent some mixed signals to my now-husband, who met my entire family on our second date! However, that was more situational due to the distance.
Keep the context of meeting others in mind. Did he specifically plan a double date with his sister and husband, or did you run into his parents randomly at the movies? These are two different contexts that mean different things. One would indicate he likes you, and the other is just a coincidence.
If he's consistent with his actions…
Most importantly, if he does these things consistently, he is interested in you! Patterns like this show he wants to make a good impression, cares what you think, wants you to have fun and enjoy your time with him, values you highly, and wants to keep you safe.
If your guy is doing these 8 things or a combination of them, chances are he's into you! So take off your detective hat and don your dating shoes!
