So... it's New Year's Eve. Many singles are prepping for a big night and if you are one that has plans to celebrate with a significant other, I hope it's a fantastic time! If you are one of those who does not have a date tonight and may be feeling lonely and depressed, I'd like to talk with you for just a minute.
You see, I know exactly how you feel. After my divorce, I was single for seven years, annulled for four. On New Year's Eve of my sixth year being single, I was just about ready to throw in the towel. But what happened instead that New Year's Eve in 1998 was something I hope will help you today if you're feeling fed up with being single.
That night, I was at a big party at an upscale hotel with all my friends from work. It was a massive celebration. No expense was spared and the place was standing room only. I was dressed up and trying to have a great time, but as the minute hand inched closer to midnight, I felt the doorway to happiness gradually closing. It would be another New Year's Eve without someone special. And that's where I kind of snapped.
It was 15 minutes before midnight and as I observed all the couples laughing and hugging, I kept hearing Sally Albright the lead character in the movie When Harry Met Sally saying, "The thought of not kissing someone at midnight is just..." She didn't have to finish that sentence. I knew exactly what she meant and I didn't want my best friend's boyfriend pecking me on the cheek, trying to make up for the lack of the man in my life.
So, I decided I would just end my pity party, altogether. I grabbed my purse and my coat and I went home. In the morning, I got up and drove to the beach before going to mass, just watching the waves come in. I prayed that God would reveal His will to me. I just needed to have some direction. Being single without some sort of guidance felt as helpless as a little toy tossed about on the tide of the ocean waves. Was He asking me to remain single for the rest of my life? Was He calling me to some different type of life?
I can't report to you that God revealed His will to me that very day. He did so in His perfect timing (which happened to be a few months later). But I can tell you that asking God to show me what He wanted me to do was a pivatol point that led me to embark on a very personal journey - one that was necessary for me to complete my life as a single person.
It helped me to really decide which I was going to prefer... His will or mine.
First, it helped me to become more of a listener. I knew God spoke through many avenues; scripture, people, homilies, etc. In the weeks that followed, a friend of mine had an interesting response to my dilemma. She said, "God has someone picked out for you, but one of you is not ready, yet."
How could I not be ready? I had all my ducks in a row! I certainly believed I was ready, but her statement just made me open myself even more to God's will. "Please tell me what else I need to do for you," became my prayer.
Four months into 1999, the man I would marry walked through the door of my workplace and we were introduced. After working side-by-side for six months, we began dating and became engaged shortly thereafter. In June of 2000 we were married.
Whenever I tell people about the great things God has done for me, I do so because I want them to have hope. Believe that God's plan will make you happy! Allow me to emphasize that He wants to do great things for everyone, not just me. I'm simply here to illustrate what He can do.
If you truly believe that God is all loving and all-powerful, then believe that He has great things waiting for you. But it's up to you to open yourself to Him. When you do, the surprise of the happiness He has planned will overwhelm you! And maybe you will be the next writer on CatholicMatch telling your stories.
